Within the Walls of My Home

Photo credit to Kiely Ro Photography 

Part of me is saying it's not worth my time to write this post, but the other part of me is saying "hey wait, isn't this why you started a blog?" 

Sooo... here goes Nothin!

I'm not going to tell you who I voted for, because to be honest that shouldn't matter.

If you liked me before the whole voting scene went down, why should that change?

I won't define you by who you voted for, and I sure hope you won't, me. 

We all woke up this morning and went about our lives per usual, correct?

Maybe a few were celebrating, a few were crying, and a few were upset, sure... but we all lived the same Wednesday we always do.

Because that's the thing... this country will not change over night.

America has undergone some pretty rough things in the past, if you paid attention at all in school you'll agree with me there, and somehow we survived it all.

If you aren't a fan of the new president, that's fine, but please don't act out irrationally.

The United States of America is and should be just that... United.

With each other, with our neighbors, with our families, and our president.

I get it, you don't agree with everything he stands for... but will you ever agree with everything a president stands for?

Probably not.

I didn't agree with quite a few things our last president changed and believed in, but my life still went on and I chose to focus on the bigger, more eternal picture. 

If you're planning on moving tomorrow, so be it.

But as for me, I am entirely proud to be an American no matter who is in office.

Our country is not defined by our president, it is defined by our people.

So try, and try hard, to be a people of love, compassion, and empathy.

You may not agree with him, me, or her... but you can still choose to represent yourself in a respectful matter.

Alright, now that those thoughts are out... 

I want to ask you to think about what is most important to you.

Think real hard.

I hope more than anything, you are thinking about your family.

Whether that be your immediate family, extended family, or those that are "like family," those are the people we should truly be thinking about right now.

I encourage each of you that are reading this to stop scrolling through Facebook and posting your differing opinions on people's statuses and to think about what you can do to create a stronger family focused on Christ. 

Because that is what matters, and if you have faith in The Lord, you have faith in our country. 

So as for me, I'm not freaking out about this election.

I can't believe we ended up with those two candidates... but I knew I could live with either one of them in office because they make temporal decisions, not eternal. 

As for me, I'll be using these times of disagreement as a time to teach my children what really matters.

And, I'll be doing this within the walls of my own home; where only mine and my husband's opinions matter.

My goal is to make our home a sanctuary that my family looks forward to coming home to.

That will only happen if I teach them correct principles, not those of hate and judgement.

I'll teach them that racism is two sided and can be demolished if we have the pure love of Christ in our hearts.

I'll teach them to respect others even if they have a differing opinion.

I'll be teaching them that women are strong and important, but men are too. 

I'll be teaching them that love conquers all hate and to love as they wish to be loved.

I'll also be teaching them that the going will get rough, but it's how we handle ourselves in those moments that defines us.

I'll teach them that we will always respect our president because he/she is an imperfect person too, and everyone deserves a chance.

I'll teach them to pray, in all things and through all things.

Last but absolutely not least, I'll always emphasize that the world we're living in currently is not forever. This world is in control of our Maker, and he has a plan for us that will make every trial and hardship worth it to experience pure and complete joy. 

So if today, yesterday, or tomorrow you're having a hard time, try a little harder to remember that all that really matters, is what happens within the walls of your own home.
If you really want to make a difference, raise the next generation of voters to have a little more love, understanding, compassion, honesty, and faith in their hearts.

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

2

#That'sLife

Oaklyn's Cute leggings are from Fancy Frogz boutique

I am continually finding that children teach adults much more than we will ever teach them.
Or at least that's how it's going in my case.
I'm constantly picking out life lessons I needed to understand based off what my child or other people's children have taught me.
Yesterday, was one of those teaching moments.

I took Oaklyn and Hunter's young cousin to a little carnival in our town.
We were having fun doing all the activities and both kids got several prizes.
Because Oaklyn is little, she didn't even understand when her 2nd cousin (once removed?) won more than her or got a different flavor of candy.
It made things quite easy on my end.
The last thing we were going to do before going home was get balloon animals.
We waited in line for a while and I told both girls to start thinking about what they wanted as we got closer.
Of course Oaklyn could care less but when she heard her cousin say she wanted a dog, that's immediately what she wanted too.
Okay, easy enough... I'll even get them in the same color so they don't want the other one's balloon.
The man making the balloon animals clearly doesn't have children because he made two pink dogs, but in two different shades of pink...
He handed one to each girl and we walked away with two excited kiddos.
As we were walking to the car I asked Hunt's cousin if she had fun.
She said, "yeah, I just wish my balloon was the color of Oaklyn's."
She didn't say it in a bratty way, she just truly liked that shade of pink better.
I told her I was sorry and that we would be more specific with the guy next time because we both knew there was no getting that balloon animal out of Oaklyn's hands.

I knew she didn't care much and very easily moved on, but it caused me to think about how that same scenario often happens in my own life.
I buy a new dress and I love it, until I see another girl in the same dress but a different color.
Suddenly, I really want that color and forget how much I loved my dress in the first place.
I get so excited to decorate for holidays and parties and then I see other's decor and suddenly just want to change mine completely.
There's even times when I'm actually very content with my life but some way or another a shadow of doubt sweeps over my mind creating a blanket of jealousy and suddenly my life is not up to par.
I then completely forget just how happy I was before my mind started playing the game of comparison.
However, this child managed to move on quite a bit easier than I tend to because #thatslife.

It was interesting to me to realize that jealousy happens at an incredibly young age and just carries on in different forms as we get older.
It may thin out over the years as we get more comfortable and confident with our own lives, but it seems to always be there even when we don't really notice it.
It manipulates our minds into thinking we always need something different or more.
I'm not proud to admit that jealousy in my own mind has caused me to think things I don't truly mean, and change things that didn't need fixing.
I'm always striving to better myself and a little healthy competition can be a good thing, but once it turns to envy and rules our thoughts and actions, it's time to reevaluate.
We cannot live our best life and up to our full potential if we are just wishing we had someone else's success and happiness.

Jealousy often happens when you can relate to someone in some shape or form.
Such as when you have the same amount of kids as your best friend, when you have a similar house as your neighbor, or even when you have similar talents as a family member.
If you are unable to relate to a person, generally, they don't threaten those little jealousy monsters in your mind because they aren't seen as "competition" or as having anything more you desire.
However, just like the balloon story, all it takes is something you remotely desire to set off those thoughts.

I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the two girls playing together with their dogs, or as Oaklyn says, "Gidas."
They were content and smiling and it was as if they no longer could see the color difference of the two balloon animals.
They were having fun and laughing and I couldn't help but think, "why is it so hard for me to move on from a jealous mindset if it's so easy for them?"
We are taught by the scriptures that we are to become like little children.
Why? Because even though they may drive us crazy at times, they are perfect.
This small little balloon encounter was yet another witness of that to me.
This child decided to move past her initial jealous instincts and see my daughter as her family and someone she loves.
She decided to love my daughter and showed it by playing with her, while also deciding to love what she initially didn't.
She changed her mindset, just as we all should try to do, with love.

So, when life hands me something that may appear to be "not enough," I'll remember that my own version of the pink balloon can still bring me joy and happiness if I just let love conquer every thought and feeling.

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

3

A Little Kindness Never Hurt Nobody

I've been thinking quite a bit about this topic lately and it just so happens that I made a guest appearance on Steffanie's (from The Urban Hare) mocktail periscope series and the topic was on being kind.

This topic has been on quite a few mother's (or parents in general) minds lately based off the current tragedies that have made the news.

(If you are unaware please refer to the articles here and here)

It is interesting, and quite frankly, annoying, that the parents of these children have become the subject of ridicule online as they mourn the loss of their child.

No parent wants to outlive their child. Ever.

The thought alone makes my heart ache.

So what's interesting to me, is that others can't seem to offer their condolences to these families but instead feel the need to tell them that the death of their child was their own fault.

Seeing the cruel remarks of those hiding behind a computer screen makes me sick, and it needs to stop. Now. 

These words are harsh and unfair, and truly will do nothing beneficial in the end. 

You see, It’s easy to throw other parents under the bus when something horrific happens because we want to believe that we are somehow better. 

It's easy for parents to believe that their "superior parenting" can prevent a tragedy and that bad things can only happen to an "irresponsible parent."

Want to know the truth?

Bad things happen to good parents, good families, good people... and when those bad things strike they deserve our empathy, and never our judgement.

I want to share a quick story with you:

Somewhere around 10 months ago, when Oaklyn wasn't quite mobile, I was able to set her on top of my bed without worry.

In the mornings, she would lay next to me as I would relieve myself from the night and pump to supply food for her. 

She would smile and grab her toys as we laid there together.

One morning I got bored while pumping and turned my head for a split second to grab my phone. 

When I looked back she was already off the bed, in mid air, about to fall on the floor.

Her little body hit and she instantly began to scream.

I jumped off the bed and frantically grabbed her.

We spent the rest of the morning rocking on the rocking chair as I probably whispered "I'm sorry" 100 times in her little ear.

The reason I share this story with you, is because it is an example, though far less tragic, that resembles what is currently happening.

I'm sure it would be easy for a lot of you to say that I should have just kept my eyes on her and that wouldn't have happened. 

I'm also sure that some may say I shouldn't be so glued to my phone and that my daughter wouldn't have fallen.

But what I'll tell you, is that it was an accident.

It was an accident I wish would've never happened, but it did and accidents happen often.

Especially when you are a parent balancing a million things every single day.

There is no such thing as a perfect earthly parent.

So to all of you other imperfect parents out there, I beg you, to stop shaming and blaming all other mothers and fathers that are just trying to do their best daily. 

My heart breaks for all of the families that lose their children to bizarre and horrific accidents daily.

We all often point fingers, but try instead, to take the high road and show kindness to those in need.

Instead of criticizing and ridiculing, try uplifting and rallying around others.

It's much easier to smile than frown, and it is much easier to share a good thought than to deny it. 

Try your hardest to be soft and kind instead of letting the world make you bitter and hard. 

If the words you wrote on social media appeared on your skin, would others still think you are beautiful?

We all say that we want to teach our children to be kind and uplifting, well the best way to do so, is to practice what you preach. 

So I encourage all of you to back up other parents instead of tearing them down.

Parenting is hard enough, we don't need bystanders making it harder. 

And always remember, a little kindness never hurt nobody.

All my love,

Aleigh Joy 

5

Buy a Bag, Help Save a Child | Barri Handbags

Happy Sunday friends! 

I am so excited to be talking about Barri handbags on the blog today!

As you all know by now, I am incredibly passionate about the cause, O.U.R (operation underground railroad), and doing all that I can to help support it. 

That's why I was so excited to learn about Barri, a handbag company that gives 10% of sales to OUR to help save children's lives!

Not only are these bags absolutely beautiful, but they are supporting the fight against the third most lucrative crime in the world.

How amazing is that??

I wanted to spread a little more awareness about Barri today, because their kickstarter fund is currently live and has 3 days left to go!

With your support and help, Ashley, the founder, will be able to produce these gorgeous bags and donate to O.U.R. 

With three days left, they have a little over $3,000 until the goal is reached!

If you've wondered how you can help end fight child sex trafficking, this is a great way to help!

Simply click here to go straight to the kickstarter fund and see the video where Ashley explains the mission and purpose of her company.  

I was able to test out and touch these bags on Saturday and I can honestly tell you that they are amazing quality.

They had awesome durability, the colors were gorgeous, and the hardware was very well crafted.

They are made of all high quality materials and are produced in fair wage factories. 

Ashley has tons of experience in designing handbags and after looking at them in person, it definitely shows!

So lucky for all of you, if you donate to the kickstarter fund you will receive 15% off your preorder purchase and be guaranteed a bag from the beautiful, b. brave collection. 

I loved talking to Ashley about her company and hearing how passionate she is about it. 

I absolutely know she is doing this with a purpose and doesn't want to start just another handbag company.
 She wants this one to be different and special!

Besides already deciding to support O.U.R, she also has a goal to support and uplift women everywhere.

She wants to create a community within Barri to help women know just how special they are.

Each bag has a metal plate inside to help you remember your worth, daily.

The plate reads: | b. inspired | b. kind | b. active | b. change |

Each bag also comes with a purse fob in front with the word "freedom" inscribed to always remind you of the cause you helped support with your purchase.

As you can see, a whole lot of time and effort were put into creating these bags!

If you have the means, please help support this awesome company with their kickstarter campaign! 

If you don't have the means, please share their facebook page, follow their instagram, or simply just tell your friends and family to spread the word!

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

0

Become an Abolitionist

Hunter and I had the opportunity to attend a screening of the film, The Abolitionists, last week. 

To be completely honest, we went not really thinking we would get much out of the movie and used it as more of a date night.

However, we left with a completely different feeling!

Both of us left that night completely inspired to do our part in making a difference. 

So... what is the movie about?

The shortened version is this... 

Today there are over two million enslaved children forced into the sex industry around the world. 

If you ask me, that alone is completely sickening. 

So the movie is about rescuing these children and saving them from the horror they are living.

On December 10th, 2013 Special Agent Tim Ballard (aka Hunter's mother's cousin's son... ha did you get that?) turned in his Homeland Security badge and  resigned from his employment with the United States government. 

He had spent over a decade rescuing these poor children from child sex tourism both domestically and overseas. 

Though his job was difficult, he was proud that his country was one of very few in the world who was actually doing anything about this problem. 

However, mired in red tape and bureaucracy, Tim left to begin saving the children that he saw falling out of the purview of the US government. 

These children constitute over 90% of the children lost to child sex slavery and he could do nothing to help them while in the employment of the US government.

This is a story about the lost children from other countries and the rescue team’s exploits as they investigate and liberate enslaved children from around the world.

Okay, so you're thinking one of 3 things right now... maybe a few of them actually... but I'm sure you're thinking something along the lines of...

1) "Wow sounds interesting! I'd actually love to see this movie! Tell me more about where and when I can see it!"

2) "I'm a parent myself and I really don't want to watch this. It sounds like it would make me sick. How else can I help?"

3) "I'm not very interested."

So, here are my answers!

If you're number one, yay! 

You really will not regret it!

Click this link to buy your tickets today :)

Also, tell all your friends to go see it!

It will only be in theaters for one day at the moment, which is May 16th.

If we can fill those theaters it will receive a theatrical release and play longer!

If you're number two... I understand!

That's actually exactly how I felt after reading up on it before I saw the movie.

It's hard, as a mom, to think about the terrible situations these children are in.

However, the movie is very well done!

It is made in a PG-13 manner because they wanted to make it appropriate for young moviegoers to see what is happening around them as well. 

It is meant to caution them and wake the audience up while not scaring them away from the theater due to the darkness of the subject matter. 

The goal was not to sicken people but rather to inform them and motivate them to do whatever they could do as individuals, within their own sphere of influence, to stop this plague of human trafficking.

Not to mention, 15% of the profit of movie sales from theaters will be going directly to Operation Underground Railroad which is the organization that creates the missions to save these children.

However, if you see the movie at a Larry H. Miller theater 100% of the proceeds will go to "OUR"!

If you still don't feel like seeing the movie is a good fit... you can donate by clicking here!

And if you're number three... please hear me out!

This is something that isn't just happening overseas. 

It is happening right here in America too, and we need to protect our children from it.

In fact, Utah is actually the number one state where child sex trafficking happens.

Terrifying!

Please join me in taking a stand against this!

Check out this site to be even more inspired. 

Please join us in taking a stand against this horrifying crime that generates over 32 billion dollars yearly. 

There are also several other ways you can help... like attending events!

Here is a link to a few that sound pretty cool!

My little family will be attending the Rescue Run 5k in Lehi on May 21st and we are so excited!

I would absolutely love to see you there!

All money raised by the run will be donated to Operation Underground Railroad.

In just two years, they have already saved over 419 victims!

Just imagine how many more we can save if we just bring awareness to this subject!

To register click here and make sure to use code: INSTAGRAM to get $5 off your registration :)

I really hope you go see this movie in theaters on May 16th and attend the run!

I'll be there walking with my Oaks ;)

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

0

I Have Worth

I have worth.

And you do too.

I'm really excited about this post.

I'm really excited about this shirt.

I'm also really excited to share this company with all of you!

Have you ever felt, down?

I bet you have.

It may have been because of something someone said to you, a mistake you made, a promise that was broken, a trial experienced, a lack of self confidence or even doubts in your head.

I think we've all been there at some point in time.

Eventually, these negative thoughts get the best of us and we say things to ourselves like, "I'm the worst" or "I wish I were more like (insert name here)."

I've said it, I've been there, I've done that.

I can recall feeling insecure more times than I can count in my lifetime.

I've always hated walking into a room and feeling like "everyone" is staring at me.

I've also wished I looked a little different a time or two, or ten.

I've wondered what my purpose is and I've doubted my self worth.

I think one of the lowest points in my life was when my PPD was the strongest.

I would lay awake at night wishing that somehow I could go back in time and feel like "myself" again.

I thought I couldn't do it, ya know, be a mother.

I thought my blog would go no where.

I thought there was no way I'd ever make the Varsity Cheer team.

I thought nobody would like me.

I also thought I never stood a chance with him.

Then he became my husband.

I made a change in my life as of recently.

One I haven't quite mastered, but that I am working on nonetheless.

I've decided to beat my doubts and fears with thoughts of self worth.

It sounds easier than it is.

It also sounds kind of like a "duh" thing to do, but I challenge you all to try it.

So what do I mean?

When you're having a negative thought about yourself, think of 5 extraordinary things about yourself.

No, you are not being conceited. You are recognizing your self worth.

A couple examples from my week:

-I went running and timed myself. I looked at my time and immediately told myself I'm just not a very good athlete. I quickly then told myself I'm a good chef, I am good at decorating, my husband loves me, I am successful, and I am a darn good mother.

-I went to the grocery store and Oaklyn was crying in the checkout line. I handed her a sucker and the older lady behind me said I shouldn't be giving her sugar at that age. I immediately doubted myself and the way I parent my child. (Insert 5 encouraging thoughts) I smiled at her, and went about my day.

Those are only two examples but sometimes they are bigger issues and other times they might even be smaller.

Either way, this has helped me tremendously in recognizing my self worth.

I have come to realize that I don't need to dress a certain way, make a certain amount of money, have specific talents, or be interested in what the crowd is.

I am me, and that is more than enough.

Don't let the world tell you when or how to feel good about yourself.

Try your hardest not to buy into the lies displayed by the media.

Don't judge yourself for looking different. Most magazine covers are photo shopped anyways.

I firmly believe that "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God..." 

We are all entitled to our Father’s blessings.

 He did not bring you to this earth to walk alone, without guidance.

 He knows our skills and celebrates in our victories with us.

He will also take our supposed inadequacies and help us turn them into strengths if we let Him.

Remember that you are worth much more to Him than you will ever know.

But all religion aside, trust me in saying that You Have Worth.

Far more worth than you might imagine.

You have potential, strengths, talents, and beauty.

Every single one of you.

This cute "I Have Worth" Tee is from CampLight Apparel and I am loving the meaning behind it.

Every purchase from CampLight Apparel helps feed malnourished children in Haiti.

So not only are you purchasing a shirt to help you remember and recognize your worth, but you are helping others in need.

I fully support this company and their mission.

Go ahead and check out their different designs Here!

You can also use the code: JOYOFLIFE at checkout for 15% off your purchase :)

And remember I am "personally" handing each of you the #myworthchallenge!

Let me know how it is going and use the hashtag #myworthchallenge on social media to post a picture of yourself telling everyone why you have worth so I can follow along! You can also comment down below! I'd love to hear about your experiences and celebrate in your triumphs with you :)

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

0

Don't Blink

Today after breakfast Oaklyn and I headed into my bedroom. 

I set her on the rug just outside the bathroom with toys surrounding her.

I turned some music on and began doing my makeup just as always.

This is part of our routine every morning.

I am able to get ready for the day while Oaklyn plays and wears herself out for her first nap.

As I was applying mascara a song I hadn't heard in a while came on.

Instantly a feeling of nostalgia hit me.

I pictured myself driving back to the high school with the windows down, cheer uniform on, big bow in my hair, pom poms in the front seat, and singing along to the radio.

I looked over at Oaklyn who was grinning away at me and practicing her clapping.

I glanced in the mirror where a sticky note from Hunter hung "You are Beautiful! -Love, Hunt"

I turned towards our bedroom where wedding photos were hung above our bed.

Then I thought to myself... "How did I blink and get here?"

I took a moment to re-live the memories that were playing in my head.

I saw myself walking to the ASB room to get the run-through banner for the football players while stopping to talk to friends on the way.

I pictured standing on my box with my pom pom over my heart as the National Anthem played.

I pictured Hunter throwing the game winning pass and my best friend giving me "the look" and my teenage heart bursting. 

I re-lived standing in the parking lot after the game, Hunter holding me tight, while day dreaming of the life we're living now.
I saw myself slow dancing with Hunter at his senior prom and thinking "how could life get better?"

Time is a crazy thing, it also seems to get shorter with age.

I swear I was just meeting Hunter for the first time. I can just see him diving into that pool right as I walked in and thinking to myself "I want him."

Weren't we just going to prom together?

It feels like yesterday that I said goodbye to the love of my life for two whole years anxiously awaiting his return with mascara stained cheeks.
I can remember every detail of his return and still love reliving that day thanks to this video.

I could've sworn we were just driving away from our reception, two giddy newlyweds.

Wasn't Oaklyn Just born? How is she almost 8 months?

Like I said, I blinked and got here.

Time is short and memories are precious.

That song tugged at my heart strings a bit and for a moment, I really missed those days.
Then my eyes got teary as I thought "I'm so glad I blinked and got to this spot and not anywhere else."

 I now have a sweet little family of my own with my high school sweetheart and life could not be better.
I can't imagine how much more our little life will have changed the next time I think to myself "How did I blink and get here?"

All my love,
Aleight Joy

3

This Body is Amazing

(photo by Erryn Kowallis Photography)

It was the day after I had Oaklyn...

I was standing in our hospital room's bathroom about to tie my gown back up after nursing my new little baby.

She was snoozing away in her daddy's arms.

She was content, he was smitten, and I was sore/exhausted.

Right before grabbing the tie I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

My eyes widened and my already cloudy mind panicked.

"Why do I still look pregnant? She's out of there. What is still in there?"

The nurse came in a few hours later.

"I'm here to check your swelling."

"Okay good, my ankles seem really puffy and my fingers are extra swollen."

The nurse touched my ankles and looked up at me "Yeah you are still really swollen. I'll be back to check on you tomorrow before you leave."

"Oh, that's it" I thought, "I'm just swollen, it will all go back to normal soon enough."

The next day I was getting dressed to go home.
I brought a sweatshirt and leggings.
Very, very, tight, pre-pregnancy leggings.
There was no way I was going home in those. Especially with that diaper I had to wear.
Thank goodness I had the stretchy pants I wore to the hospital.
The next few days I spent much time weeding through my closet trying to find clothes that weren't too small or too big because I wasn't the size before pregnancy or during pregnancy.

Thanks to nursing, constantly being on the move with a baby that loved being rocked, and a fussy newborn that didn't like when I left her to go eat... I started to shrink rather quickly.

I was back in most of my pre pregnancy clothes with the exception of some pairs of jeans, in a few weeks.

But the loose skin, the stretch marks I didn't know existed, and the lost muscle definition haunted me every time I saw my reflection.

I know every new mother thinks it. Of course, some more often than others...

"I miss my body before kids."

I was more limber, I was stronger, my skin was tighter, you could see my abs poking through, and I felt comfortable in my own skin.

What happened?

I'll tell you what happened...

Something amazing happened.

I grew a child in my own body for 9 months and 5 days.

I stretched and often ached but I did that.

My body did that.

I gave birth to a child.

I'll spare you the details, but that's no walk in the park.

I gave Oaklyn life.

My body gave Oaklyn life.

I have fed her for almost 7 months.

I have nourished and helped her grow.

My body has supplied her with food, it knew how to give her food.

I have rocked her and held her til my arms feel weak but she has been comforted during the fussiest times by being held close next to me.

My body pushed through the longest nights to help calm a little baby that was hurting, hungry, and had her days and nights mixed up.

When my mind told me I couldn't, my body kept going.

My body has recovered from the most amazing miracle and excruciating pain any human will know, because it is amazing.

It's hard to see the changes made and it's hard to work towards what I want to become.

I'm aloud to have a few thoughts, on occasion, of disappointment.

I wouldn't be human if I didn't.

But, it is also so important to remember that this body has been through much sacrifice to bring forth the miracle of life.

And that is the most important thing this body will do.

I will still continue to search youtube to find that miracle workout to get rid of that darn pooch... but I will also strive to remember, and I hope that you mothers will too, that these bodies of ours sure have done some incredible things.
Give yourself a little more credit because, your body is amazing.

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

0

A Thought or Two

It's an interesting thing that the second you look at that pregnancy test and see two pink lines, every thought, chore, dream, errand, and action, changes. 

Your world isn't just "your world" anymore.

Your heart grows a size bigger and suddenly, without even realizing it, you're learning to think about someone other than yourself all the time.

It doesn't matter what store I walk into, I always end up in the baby section.

My routine seems to be the same everywhere I go.

Survey the baby gear wondering what else is necessary, feel for the softest blankets, picture a sweet baby playing with all the colorful toys, and ALWAYS end in the clothes section picturing my princess in every dreamy dress and pair of sparkly shoes.

I had no idea how girly I was until I started shopping for a little girl of my own.

It's funny, the circle of life is...

You go through phases, everyone does it.

Well, every girl does it.

Or at least me and my friends did it...

Anyhow, I remember being in middle school dreaming of dating the perfect guy in high school and him taking me to prom so I could get all dressed up in a pretty dress and maybe just maybe, he'd kiss me goodnight.

I got to high school and found someone that made my heart beat extra fast. 

He literally was that dream guy I had imagined in middle school.

I began to only want to watch mushy love movies and read all the Nicholas Sparks books. I craved slow music that told a story of a boy and a girl falling and staying in love.

I spent a majority of English class day dreaming of my wedding day and what the future held for Hunter and I.

He left on his mission and my world revolved around writing letters and making packages.

The thought of him coming home and finally being able to make our dream a reality consumed me.

When he came home, my mind looked like the perfect pinterest board of all things wedding.

We got married and I began feeling giddy over being a homemaker and creating a pretty home that we felt happy with calling ours. I took it upon myself to make a home cooked meal every night. My greatest accomplishment was making sure my football-playing husband's tummy was full.

Then one morning, I saw those two pink lines... and once again everything changed.

It didn't take long at all for me to spend countless hours looking for the best deals and reviews on strollers, diaper bags, clothes, car seats, bottles, and all things baby.

I probably drove Hunter nuts with the once a month breakdowns feeling inadequate to give this little girl everything she deserves in life.

I stayed awake at night planning out her nursery in my head and every moment I was awake I was making lists of things we needed to be ready.

My world had changed, because I became a mother.

I've always been pretty emotional.

I've also always hated crying in front of people.

It always makes me feel awkward and I don't like when people try to run to my rescue.

I even have a hard time crying in front of Hunter still.

So I tend to get that dry lump in my throat quite often as I try so hard to push the tears back.

But, something about motherhood changes your insides and suddenly you find a reason to cry over anything and everything.

Especially now that I'm at the very end of this pregnancy.

For example:

• Father daughter dances. It doesn't matter which song or who is dancing, you can catch me in the corner crying my eyes out and trying so hard to wipe my tears before anyone sees.
• Hearing her little heartbeat now compared to the first time. I remember that first appointment so well. It took a good 5 minutes to even find the heartbeat. Now, the second they put it on my belly I'm able to hear her happy, healthy heart beating away. At this last appointment I tried my hardest to hold back my tears when her heart started beating faster than usual after I said something to the nurse. She said "oh, she must know your voice!" and I just about lost it. She was excited. She was excited to meet us and join our family and that brought me all the happiness in the world.
• I walk into her room every morning and just pause at her empty crib. I try to picture my little girl just waking up with sleepy eyes all snuggled with her animal friends. I'll sit in the rocking chair and imagine reading her a bedtime story. I always stop by her closet and match pretty dresses with her darling bows. I fold and re-fold her onesies and leggings and pay special attention to the difference in size between newborn and 6 months. And that, is when the tears start. She's not aloud to grow up. Ever. 
• Any and every song that talks about a family really gets to me. I love my little growing family. I'm beyond excited for the three of us to do any and everything together.

I began feeling a little sad around week 36.
The reality set in of life being not just Hunter and I anymore.
I love our little one but I'll always cherish these memories of just the two of us, and I'm so grateful I've chosen my best friend to spend forever with.
I was listening to the song "Then" by Brad Paisley the other day.
It brought a flood of emotion and memories.
The first time I ever heard that song was on a bus ride over to a high school basketball game.
I was in my cheer uniform and Hunter was sitting behind me in his warm ups.
He tossed one head phone over the seat and that song was playing.
It made me cry back then, but it now has so much more meaning.
"And I can just see you, with a baby on the way..."
It truly is crazy to think about how far we have come.

And on that note, I think I've gotten everything in my mind typed out.
So I guess I'll stop here!
So I'll end by saying, I really really love this little life I'm living and I'm just getting more and more anxious to meet our little girl:)

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

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Nostalgia

It has been an entire year since I have graduated high school.

Uhm, what?

The class of 2013 graduated on Friday evening which means I have officially been graduated for a year... and that is beyond me.

They say (one day I will figure out who they are) that high school goes by incredibly fast.

Which they are right about, but what they failed to mention is that the time after it goes by even faster. 

I was as happy as every other senior that last night on our home turf, to just get out of there and move on with real life, but secretly I was dying inside.

As I waved to my parents in my cap and gown I was in disbelief that the time had really come.

When I was handed my diploma I was too fixated on grabbing it with the right hand to even realize in that moment that I was no longer a Mission Hills Grizzly. 

When the confetti blasted and the caps were thrown, I took a minute to get out of my seat. 

I still couldn't believe what was happening.

I was happy, I was SO happy... but all at the same time I just wanted a time machine to bring me back to my first day of my freshman year. 

Grad night had been the night before. We went to Disneyland, it was a night I'll never forget. 

The night of graduation I spent some lovely time with my family.

I went to bed that night and shed many tears right before I fell asleep.

"It was one heck of a ride", I thought.

I don't know how anybody could dislike high school. 

Maybe it was because I made the best friends a girl could ask for.

Maybe it was because I was on varsity cheer for four amazing years.

Maybe it was because our football team always kept games fun and interesting.

Maybe it was because I was in ASB and adored the friends I made there.

Maybe it was because I had a ridiculous amount of school spirit.

Maybe it was because I met the love of my life there.

Or maybe... I'm just feeling all sentimental.

But, those really were some of the best years of my life. 

I love where I am now, and I love where I am headed.

The future is one exciting thing to daydream about.

I love the thought of me no longer being in my "youth" exactly.

But high school, you will always have a special place in my heart.

I was going through some grad pictures the other day and even if I could have already posted some (I can't remember) you get to see them again :)

Don't mind the fact that the kid behind me doesn't know how to walk. Oh, and fajaa wasn't quite familiar with the camera haha :)

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

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