Oh Mary, Did You Know?

Every Christmas season I begin feeling overwhelmed and a bit stressed with all the money spent, gifts we have to buy, and activities I feel we can't miss out on.

It just becomes a lot of work and time for one holiday that's over in a blink!

However, once I start focusing on the real reason we celebrate Christmas, I notice my attitude change and my love for the spirit of Christmas increase.

This holiday is such a special time to reflect on our Savior's life instead of making it feel more like a "Hallmark" holiday. 

The first Christmas I spent as a mother, was the first time I really thought about what it must have been like to be Mary.

Ever since that Christmas, I love reflecting on her life and what an amazing example she is to mothers everywhere.

Like holy cow, can you even imagine being her??

The video I shared below does a great job of really helping us understand her role.

She was the mother of literally the only perfect man on earth.

She was the mother of our Savior, the Son of God.

Like guys, I can't even put my thoughts and feelings into words!

I just can't even imagine.

I feel such an intense amount of love and respect for Mary. 

Ever since that Christmas, "Mary Did You Know" became my favorite Christmas song.

I get the chills every time I listen to it, especially the Pentatonix version!

One of my favorite lines is "This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you."

SO powerful! 

Every Christmas now, I try to really think about Mary in that stable. Not in a hospital bed with an epidural, but in a stable. 

I try to imagine what it must have felt like to hold the Son of God, the one that now holds each of us in our trials and hardships.

I imagine what it must have been like to see him on the cross (cue tears), wondering why this must be. 

I imagine how it must have felt to see crowds bow before him, to see him give sight to a blind man, and to know that he overcame death.

I mean, I feel proud when Oaklyn pees in the potty by herself... I just can't even begin to imagine what she felt. 

Now, when I see a nativity scene, I see a mother holding a brand new baby boy.

I see a mother who was probably scared and had gone through long suffering just to bring him here... but a mother who is brave and faithful.

I see a mother that I aspire to be like.

Every Christmas I think about how I can be more like Mary, a mother who is one of the greatest examples of all time.

Mary was trusted with THE Son of God, and raised him in faith.

I just can't help but ponder the same question, "Mary Did You Know?"

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

Here's a few videos I LOVE!

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When Nothing Else Makes Sense

I haven't quite been able to pinpoint my recent thoughts and feelings and adequately put them into words, but I feel like it's time to at least get something out. So, here's a little bit about how our family's world was recently rocked...
 It was a Saturday morning and I was fast asleep after being up all night. Hunter was on a camping trip and all sorts of anxiety kicks in keeping me awake when he isn't home. I can't recall what I was dreaming about when my sister in law came frantically running through my door, but what she had said made me think I was still dreaming... no wait, I thought I was having a nightmare. It was 9:55am on July 30th when I felt her tear hit my arm as we held each other close and I realized it was in fact a reality. A really horrible, devastating, unfair, unexpected, and surreal reality.  "I guess he was running and then just collapsed" I heard her say. "Right as I was headed out the door for brunch I read the text saying that dad died." We were sobbing in each other's arms and before we could even process the news we had just heard, our phones began to ring. It was other family members all as hysterical as we were. There was one common goal, get to San Diego as fast as possible. We were bawling and packing and praying and wondering how any of this could even be real. We managed to have the car packed and ready to go around 11:30 and thinking about meeting up with my sweet heartbroken husband devastated me. He had been at a campout with the young men in our church and getting the news to him, was quite difficult. I strongly remember silently praying the shortest and most sincere prayer I have ever uttered that I would somehow be able to comfort my sister in law and my husband during our unplanned car ride back home, amidst the gut wrenching feeling even I had. That 10 hour trip was something I'll never forget even though I was slapping my face to try to even stay awake. At times we were laughing about memories we had made with him and the next moment I could hear sniffles and saw tears streaming down cheeks. My own eyes were constantly welling with tears and the road was blurry almost the whole way. We were anxious to be with family but also dreading all that we were about to go through. It absolutely didn't make sense, any of it, and the rest of that week was the biggest blur. There were flowers and cards filling the kitchen, friends stopping by to offer support and comfort, funeral plans were arranged, finances were discussed, and there were tear stained cheeks everywhere you turned. 

I can hands down say, that Pat passing away has been the absolute hardest trial of any of our lives... and I cannot stand to believe that it's only beginning. It's been a month as of last Saturday, yet that time has felt like a lifetime. Sometimes, it doesn't feel real. Then again, this is the most real pain I have ever felt. I've gone through a variety of emotions these past few weeks and I'm sure the rest of the Moore family has as well. I've felt sad beyond comparison, then I'll remember a happy memory and smile through the heartache. I'll be listening to a song that brings me joy which quickly turns to tears. I've felt encouragement that we can do this incredibly hard thing, and then a blanket of fear takes over my mind. I've luckily felt a glimpse of peace knowing that our Father in Heaven has a wonderful plan and yet the next moment, I'll feel anger that we were robbed of what could have been.

It may seem odd to some people that I'm so upset over my father in law passing, especially because of all the jokes that in laws are hard, but I won the lottery in this department and loved him like a second father. So, to give you some background, here's a glimpse of the kind of man Pat was. He was humble and teachable yet always seemed to know the answer. He was kind and loving, yet tough when he needed to be. He was athletic and ate well, yet knew life was short so he enjoyed a treat or two. He got excited over his new "toys" but never bragged or let his "things" be the center of his life. His prized possessions were his family, faith, and country and he could talk your ear off about all three if you let him. He made the world's best cookies and really enjoyed a movie night if we were watching Sweet Home Alabama, A Cinderella Story, or Galaxy Quest. He has an incredible testimony of the restored gospel and served in his church callings diligently. He managed to care about and help everyone that came into his life in some shape or form. He also made sure all of his good deeds went unnoticed as he never sought praise. Pat accomplished more before 9am everyday than anyone I've ever known, and finished all the Lord needed of him on this earth in only 57 years.

It's safe to say that none of this makes sense to me. Not any part of it. I've gone through several scenarios in my head just trying to understand how this could happen to us, or better yet, why this happened to us. You know that line in the song "If I Die Young" that goes, "funny when you're dead how people start listening?" I think that was written for Pat. His teachings, even though he isn't physically here on earth, are still being taught. I know that his legacy will live on and his short life with bless others, but it just doesn't seem fair to us. I know the Lord needs him but it's hard not to feel like we need him more. As I was thinking about my sweet mother in law and recognizing her strength through this incredibly difficult trial, I realized the only thing keeping her going, is her testimony. The same goes for the rest of the family. Without it, I'm positive this would be a million times harder. Even though nothing else seems to make sense to me, at least my testimony of Heavenly Father's plan  does. I know we will see Pat again. In fact, I'm positive he's preparing to show us all around and can't wait for us to be there with him. The veil between our earthly home and our heavenly home has been incredibly thin these past few weeks as I've pondered the concept of life and death.

 I know what the plan is for all of us and I truly believe in it, but I'll admit I have wondered how "The Plan of Happiness" could be anything but happy for us right now. It's taken a month of deep thought and prayer to come to understand that His plan is so much more than what happens on this earth and what we can comprehend. True and complete happiness, the kind where families can be together forever, where children don't ever go hungry, where slavery doesn't exist, where goodbyes aren’t necessary, where bodies don’t age, get injured, bleed, or die, and where "bad news" is never said, can only exist in a greater place. This is the happiness we’re being shaped for while being tested and tried on this earth. It’s the happiness that will be ours, without end, once we make it through our time on a fallen world that promises opposition daily. It’s the joy that will be our rest once we work hard and have done all we were meant to do in mortality. His plan of happiness, is happiness, and that will bring hope and faith to our hearts during this life when nothing else seems to make sense. 

I've began to think a little deeper about the blessings we all crave. You know, to pay the bills without worry each month, to take away the physical and emotional pain our loved ones experience, to see those struggling with infertility finally have children, and to be reunited with the loved ones taken from us too soon... These blessings that seem to never come make so many of us wonder, “How is this really in a plan of happiness?” And that’s when we need to be reminded that if we lived a life free of opposition and trouble, we truly would never know the complete joy waiting for us, and we’d never have a need for Him. After all, happiness isn’t a lack of misery, it’s knowing the feeling of misery and then living eternally in a place where that is overcome.

Every so often, we are blessed with a little reminder of a broader, more eternal plan. A plan that we can't quite understand because the concept of eternity is not one our minds can quite grasp in our mortal state. But, there’s a beauty in knowing that our eternal value is far greater than any feeling we'll ever experience during our time away from home and that a seat is being saved for us by our loved ones we dearly miss. 

It's hard, honestly, to not feel discouraged when hardship falls upon us. It's scary to think of the rest of our lives without a spouse, parent, child, sibling, friend, or grandparent. I'm sure several of you are nodding your head because you have been through the same sorrow, though a different gravestone. It's easy to question and wonder how this could really be a perfect plan when it feels far from it while going through the trials we once agreed to enduring. But, let us always remember that the Lord has felt every pain we will ever feel and wants us to need Him. He agreed to the plan just as we did, and though it's everything but easy currently, it will lead to pure and eternal joy.

“Frustrations are only temporary... The Lord has promised that in the eternities no blessing will be denied his sons and daughters who keep the commandments, are true to their covenants, and desire what is right.” -Dallin H Oaks

Pat, we'll miss you every day until His great plan is fulfilled. Thank you for uplifting us, teaching us, helping us, and guiding us. Thank you for being the perfect role model for my husband. I can't wait to teach my kids all about you and I must admit, I'm a little jealous you get to meet them before me ;) "Our ultimate goal is to live together forever in the presence of The Lord, Forever Moore."

If you'd like to see the beautiful memorial video made for Pat by my sister in law Michelle, click here.

And lastly, thank you to everyone who has supported our family in the form of words, prayers, meals, cards, hugs, texts, phone calls, monetary donations, and just being there... We appreciate it far more than we'll ever be able to say. 

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

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Easter Thoughts + Egg Hunt

I love spring!
I love the warmer weather (well, usually... come on Utah!), the flowers, the sunshine, the overall happiness, the excitement for Summer, and I love Easter most of all.
I feel like Easter, can actually be somewhat of an overlooked holiday.
Especially if you aren't religious.
I have always loved Easter traditions.
The baskets, Cadbury eggs, Easter dresses, the food, and the egg hunts...
However, over the past few years I have really thought deeper about why we celebrate Easter and I have come to understand better why I feel so much happiness on this holiday.

 Easter is a celebration of the wonderful promise we have of eternal life through Our Savior, Jesus Christ. 
Because of him, and his great sacrifice, we are promised that there is no end.
What a powerful promise!
He died, so that we may be free from our sins and live forever.
I get teary eyed just thinking about it, and how much He loves each of us.

Today is something people call "Good Friday"
We don't necessarily "celebrate" this holiday in my church, but I always recognize it and reflect on it and all it means.
It is, more or less, a day to think of all the Good that Jesus had done, and all the happiness he brings us still today.
 A day to think about the atoning sacrifice he made, and to remember that he truly does love each of us more than we can comprehend. 

About 2000 years ago, on a Thursday, Jesus sat down for his last meal with who he thought to be his closest friends. One turned his back on him that night. Another claimed he would die alongside Jesus, only to deny that he even knew him in the next few hours. That Thursday night and into Friday morning, Jesus was betrayed, arrested, denied, endured trials, and sentenced to death. Friday he was mocked, tortured, and crucified. Matthew 27:50 tells us that he “gave up His Spirit” for every flawed person who would ever walk the earth. Yes, you. His atoning sacrifice was for me, and you... all of you.

I am incredibly grateful for the sacrifice our Savior made for us, and for the suffering he endured.
More importantly however, I am thankful that He has risen. 
I am so happy that He lives today!
Our Savior is the one who unlocks our passageway through death, to eternal life.
I know that the atonement and resurrection we essential to fulfilling the glorious plan that Heavenly Father has laid out for us.
I know that They knew this had to be, and that they made a sacrifice I can't ever imagine going through, because They love us that much.
I am so thankful that because of Him, I get to be with my sweet little family forever and ever. 

A few friends and I had a fun little Easter egg hunt today!
It was so fun being all together and watching our littles interract together.
I love this bunch of friends and I am so grateful I met each of them.
Obviously most of them were little babies, so we basically threw all the eggs and watched as they sucked on them and shook them unsure of what else to do haha.
One friend stuffed her eggs with cheerios and every baby loved those eggs!
We also brought picnic lunches and laid some blankets out to talk and eat.
Other than the wind, it was such a fun day!

So, Happy Easter my friends!

I hope you have a great day with friends and family and are reminded of Jesus Christ's love for you :)

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

ps. take a few minutes to watch this video. It's my favorite of all time along with this hymn. Ahh chills!

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He is the Gift

This Christmas has a different feel than most.

It's the first Christmas Hunter and I are spending together as husband and wife.

It's also the first Christmas season I have been away from my family members back home.

Hunter served a 2 year LDS mission so he is a bit more used to this than I am.

I'm missing picking out the tree with my dad. A tradition that's always been ours.

I'm missing wrapping the the presents my dad gets for my mom and placing them under the tree.

I'm missing the houses a few streets away from my parents that synchronized their lights to the music on the Christmas radio station.

And, I'm missing going to the mall with my mom and picking out the things I want for Christmas.

Though I do miss these things... I am of course loving being able to watch Christmas movies with Hunter, seeing lights in a whole new city, and starting traditions of our own.

Both Hunter and I loved presents growing up.

Our parents both gave pretty generous Christmases and we have very fond memories of Christmas morning. 

This year we are newlyweds, we are expecting a baby in February, Hunter is going to school full time and playing college football not on scholarship.

That being said... we don't have all the money in the world to buy fancy gifts for each other, or very many small ones.

Though we both are excited to go back home for Christmas and we are grateful that our parents are generous enough to still give us gifts, like I said before, it's just a little different this year.

This year, the excitement hasn't been focused on the presents we are going to receive.

This year has been focused on the real meaning of Christmas.

The birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I've always known that that is the real reason why we celebrate this season.

It isn't about the jolly fat man in a red suit, or the lights outside, the gingerbread houses, or the new sweater under the tree. 

But this year, it has been a whole lot easier to focus on the real meaning of Christmas rather than the commercialism that comes along with it. 

Yes we are still watching Christmas movies, our home has decorations up, and we have gotten a few small gifts for each other... but like I said before, the feeling this year is different.

In a good way.

Because "Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store... maybe Christmas perhaps, means a little bit more."

I am so incredibly grateful for the gift that is our Savior, for his infinite atonement, and for the joy I feel knowing that he loves me. 

1

A Seriously Happy Friday!

I have a very special story to share with all of you today!

Meet Morgan Rupp: 

(aka my long lost twin, soul sister, best friend)

So once upon a time Elder Hunter Miles Moore wrote an email that said something along the lines of this: "Morgan is doing really well! She is 18 and her friend Emily is in our ward. She has come to church twice and she is doing awesome. She has a preach my gospel and she has been studying it. Hopefully she gets baptized :)"

So, I pray for every single one of Hunter's investigator's, and especially 18 year old girls because I was once that 18 year old girl that was being talked about in a missionary's email home haha. But, I never knew how much this sweet girl would end up meaning to me.

Now, not too long after this email was sent (and Morgan, I actually haven't even told you this part yet so this is for you too!) I was feeling slightly stuck in life and needed some inspiration. That tends to happen when life gets repetitive I've noticed. I learned something in the past: when this happens, trust in the Lord and seek direction through him. So, I read my patriarchal blessing. I love those pieces of paper. My goodness, they have helped me through thick and thin. As I was reading I came across a paragraph that has stuck out to me before, a paragraph that has both scared me half to death into thinking I need to go on a mission, and a paragraph that has lead me to where this story really begins. 

Without going into too much detail, I read it and felt the spirit witness to me that I would need to be prepared to talk about the gospel whenever necessary but in all reality very soon. 

I got pumped and prayed for missionary experiences every day after that and for ways that I could share my happiness that I have found in my church. 

I truly believe that I have been through several trials to become a member of this church so that I can share my story with others. 

In those few days I had a coworker ask me about modesty, I had a friend ask me about the temple, and I had more questions on my Q&A section of this blog about my faith.

Those ya see, were just the build up though because then on Sunday August 4th I received a call from Cincinnati, Ohio.

That call was from the sweetest, strongest, most precious girl. 

That girl was Morgan Rupp :)

Between the tears we were both able to share our stories, and talking to her was as if I had known her my entire life.

Morgan had been meeting with Elder Moore and he noticed some similarities in our conversions. He felt prompted to give Morgan my phone number when everyone around her was tearing her down. And let me tell you, they were tearing her down. 

The entire time we spoke, the spirit was with us both. We clicked instantly, I still can't believe that we only "met" less than a week ago. I loved her instantly.

It truly is crazy how much love I developed for this precious girl. I wanted her to be baptized more than anything in the entire world. I wanted her to have a lifetime of the happiness she truly deserves. I want that for everybody, but for Morgan, it was different.

She has a testimony like you wouldn't believe. Her faith shines so incredibly bright. The light of Christ shines from within her and her sweet spirit can fill anybody with happiness. 

Sunday to Friday felt like an eternity as each day I prayed my heart out to Heavenly Father in hopes that she would be comforted through the week. I went on temple grounds one night and prayed in the parking lot in hopes that she would send me a picture of her in white. 

And today, she did :)

Today our Father in Heaven looked down at one of his precious and beautiful daughters being baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I have no doubt that he is smiling and so pleased with her decision. 

Morgan, you are amazing. The Lord has wonderful things in store for your life. You have joined the Lord's army and you will be so greatly blessed for it. You have helped increase my testimony and you have helped me discover a yearning to share the gospel with all who will listen. I can't wait to see the wonderful woman you turn out to be as you follow God's plan for you. I love you Morgan! Best Friends For Eternity!

Ya'll this church is true, my favorite book is blue, and I love being Mormon. 

Amen.

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

P.S. Read all about her beautiful story right here! She is such an amazing girl!

3

Sunday 'Spiration

I realize I left the "in" in inspiration off, but it flows better ya know?

As I was getting ready for church this morning I decided to search youtube for an inspirational video to listen to.

Technology is a really cool thing people.

Lately I have been struggling with explaining how important the temple is to me.

I can't stress how thankful I am for temples all over, but it is so hard to tell others that who can't even walk inside. 

I've tried so hard to find the perfect answer to helping others understand just how special temples really are in our faith, but no words ever seemed to completely express that.

Therefore, I decided I needed to watch something on temples.

I found the most amazing video.

I teared up at how perfect he explains everything. 

Watch it for yourselves.

And hopefully, just maybe, some of you may better understand how sacred temples truly are.

I love the temple.

I love the sweet spirit I am filled with as I get to participate in the wonderful work we do inside. 

I know that temples are part of God's plan for us and I know that as long as I keep myself worthy to enter the temple I will receive numerous blessings.

I know that I can be sealed to my sweetheart for time and all eternity in the temple and that we will be able to create an eternal family because of it.

I cannot wait for that day :)

I know that the work we do inside is incredibly important.

I love the temple, and I love being Mormon.

Happy Sabbath my friends!

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

1

Hoppy Easter

                                       

Happy Easter my dear friends and family!

That video is amazing, and I cried tears of sorrow and joy while watching it.

I love our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, more than I can even put into words.

I am so grateful for his atoning sacrifice and for the way that he taught all to love, and be kind to one another. 

The plan of salvation is so perfect and so real. I testify that it is.

I know that the atonement and resurrection were essential to fulfilling this glorious plan.

I know that there is one way to Heaven, and that is through our Savior.

If we strive to be more like him daily, we will be ready to meet our Father in Heaven. 

 The Savior is the one who unlocks our passageway through death to eternal life.  

His is the name that opens the way to forgiveness and repentance.

I am beyond grateful for the sacrifice he made, for the suffering he endured.

More importantly, I am grateful he has risen. I am grateful that our savior lives today.

I am grateful we have his perfect example to strive to follow.

I love Easter, I love the special spirit I have felt all of today.

I woke up happy, I woke up with so much love in my heart for my dear brother, Jesus Christ.

So happy Easter Friends, I hope you have felt how loved you truly are.

I hope you strive to be more like our Savior.

I hope you remember that he lives :)

I Know That My Redeemer Lives!

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

1

Finding Happiness

Have I mentioned how much I REALLY love my institute class?

Well its true, I do.

What we learned the other day, has really stuck with me.

I keep referring back to the notes I took and thinking deeper into what we talked about.

I think that means something. I think it means I needed that lesson.

Yep, I sure did.

Here goes the summary because I think everyone could learn a thing or two from a really lovely lesson.

(Keep in mind my thoughts don't work like a normal persons. They are everywhere all at once, but if I can connect the dots, I believe you can too.)

Take a second and think...

What Equals Eternal Happiness??

Do you have an answer? Kay good, write it down so you remember it.

Have you ever heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs?

If you haven't I suggest reading up on it, It really is quite interesting.

Anyhow, here they are...

Study that as much as you want and argue with it all you will, but shoot, its the dang truth. 

In that order precisely. 

Where are you?

Why are you not at the point you want to be?

Aha! We shall see...

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being then I warn you that you will be unhappy for the rest of your life."

- Maslow

Alright so now think about this:

The 5 needs that should really be fulfilled are 1) physical 2) social 3) emotional 4) mental (intellectual) and 5) spiritual.

Kay easy enough right?

Yes, it should be. If you can find a balance among all of them.

That right there though, is the hardest for everyone. 

Here's what it should look like to find a balance:

Soo I'm not the best "bubble" maker, I get it... But there's a bigger point!

Notice how the biggest bubble is the spiritual one. Notice how everything around that is the same size (or at least supposed to be haha).

The point is that if you make your spirituality the biggest part of who you are, every other thing will be balanced in your life.

Therefore, no stress.

Woah, THAT is a magical formula to happiness.

Catching on? Kay cool.

3 Nephi 13:24-34 talks about how Heavenly Father WILL provide every little thing we will ever need for us. If he doesn't provide Steve Madden Combat boots for you or a shiny new iphone, chances are you REALLY don't need it to make you happy. 

Matthew 6:24-34  talks about focusing on the Kingdom of Heaven. Somehow, the scriptures talk a whole lot about that. I think He is trying to get the point across. 

The plea is to have us focus less on the pride of the world and more on eternal consequences. 

Having that Aha moment yet?

Me too.

One last scripture. Alma 32:27-43. 

Ohhhh the parable of the seed/tree.

Let that seep in a little bit deeper for ya.

PLANT YOUR SEED IN HIM!

Did I get the point across?

Cultivate your seed. How many times does it mention the words "seek" and "knock?" 

A whole bunch. That's how many times. 

Water your seed and make conscious decisions.

Fertilize your seed by kneeling and asking in prayer. 

Ready for this?

Eternal Happiness = NO Separation From God!

Ahhhh feels good to know the magical formula to eternal happiness huh? :)

I sure think so.

"Men are that they might have joy"

2 Nephi 2:25

If you made it this far, thanks haha :)

I just felt the need to remember this, and to share it with everyone else!

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

2

You Raise Me Up

Happy Sunday!

Really though, today I feel really quite happy.

I slept in, ate honey bunches of oats, curled my hair, emailed Hunter, listened to a conference talk, put on a maxi dress and was off to church. 

The sun was shining and I had my best friend beside me. I'm so lucky to have the best friends ever that believe the same as me.

Sacrament meeting was awesome. I received my young womanhood recognition today. I started that journey as a sophomore. I love that I have made it this far. 

In primary the lesson was about missionaries and ours came in to talk to the sweet children. I missed my sweet missionary in Ohio but it helped me feel close to him.

During third hour I asked the kids if they knew where we came from before coming to Earth. Emily responded, "The North Pole!" I giggled and my heart felt warm. I love my sunbeams. 

They have such a special spirit about them. I can't help but just want to squeeze their cheeks and hug them all day long.

We took them for a walk and the sun felt warm on my skin. Weston fell on his knee. I kissed it and he gave me hugs. My heart was warm once again.
There is something so magical about watching these sweet three year old's running around in the grass with the sunshine making their eyes twinkle as they collect pine cones, flowers, and chase each other around :)

I'm now sitting here in happiness, in peace.

I love my church with all my heart. 

I love Sunday's. I look forward to them all week.

So Happy Sunday friends!

I hope you have a lovely day and remember why we set aside one day of rest :)

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

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Nearer My God To Thee.

June 14, 2012

I entered the waters of baptism, I am now a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Yes, I'm a Mormon :)

 

Two of my very best friends, Jordyn Michelle and Audrey Johanna

Elder Wright and Elder Thacker, my awesome missionaries.

Friend! 

So here's my story. It might be kinda long so bear with me if you will. I was raised in a Christian background. My grandfather was a pastor, they in fact lived in a house right on church grounds for many years. I grew up knowing and hearing about God, knowing that he exists and watches over us in heaven. I understood that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I was told that by accepting Jesus into my heart, I would make it to Heaven to return and live with God eternally. I believed that sinning was bad, I most definitely knew right from wrong. I had a stable home life. Other than the occasional sibling bickering, my family got along quite well. I was happy for the most part, but in my heart I felt the spiritual yearning for something more. I had this desire to understand the concepts of heaven and to live my life the best I could.

Middle school rolled around all to quickly. I remember my first day so clearly, I was terrified out of my mind. I ran to my first class and throughout the whole period my stomach was in complete knots. I was sure I would use all my bathroom passes within the first week... As the year went on I felt more comfortable at this school, but more importantly in my own skin. I made some new friends. They seemed nice and we got along great. Their social life was intriguing to me. These were the girls that got all the boys, had the cutest clothes, and did all the fun stuff over the weekend. Within a week, as a sixth grader, I had my very first boyfriend. I still kept in mind the religious background I had, but it seemed to slowly get pushed away as my interests started to fall upon my cell phone, my new friends, and the latest gossip. This progressed until 8th grade, until I became the little fish in a big pond. 

After being promoted to high school, I felt so excited. I couldn't wait for a new adventure. Not to mention, as a freshman I made varsity cheer.  Things looked like they were gonna be pretty awesome in this new school, I couldn't wait. That summer I went over to my boyfriend at the time's house. Ironically this is where I met Hunter for the first time. We spoke a little, not much, but enough. Something about him drew me in. He was funny, really sweet, and not to mention incredibly good looking. I had broken up with that boyfriend about a month later and remembered Hunter. Ironically again, that old boyfriend is the one that gave me Hunter's phone number...  must have been fate ;) As somewhat of a rebound, but mostly as an attempt to get to know new people at the school, I texted him. Then again, and again, and again until he probably thought I was super annoying but he always replied. I was in deep and he didn't even know it. My whole first sememster I spent trying to get to know and figure Hunter out. Some days he seemed like he liked me and others he didn't. I always got super annoyed because for an entire 3 hours he wouldn't reply to my texts on Sundays. I knew he went to church, but seriously he had to have been ignoring me. This sparked questions, I wanted to find out more about him and his faith. I considered myself religious and thought it would be a cool topic to address. Each Sunday I would ask new questions, he would answer them and I found myself understanding better why he was such an awesome person, it was because of this church. 

Meanwhile, I met my future best friend. Audrey Johanna deBruyn. I hadn't known it at the time, in fact I never could have guessed it.Audrey and I actually met in our elementary school days, but freshman year we really got to know each other. We had PE together where we spent many days laughing and joking about the silliest things. One day I brought up some questions I had about their church. We talked about missionaries, the Book of Mormon, and the priesthood. One day, after class we met in the shower stall. In that stall, Audrey and my other best friend Samantha taught me the restoration. They explained Joseph Smith's role as a prophet. I was smiling the whole time, and saw tears roll down Sam's cheek. I told them I felt overwhelmed... with happiness, it felt good. And that my dear's, is the beginning.

Within the next semester I found myself intrigued with this church. I researched and did my investigating, I asked many more questions, and I found myself yearning for answers. I started hanging out with Hunter a lot more and I went over to his house quite frequently. I noticed how loving their family was, i loved them right from the beginning. I started talking to Hunt about the Book of Mormon, he had told me how much it meant to him and I wanted it to mean something to me as well. He gave me my first copy of the Book of Mormon, he bore his testimony in it and told me his favorite scriptures. I treasured that book. I got home and locked myself in the bathroom, I flipped through every page and couldn't wait to begin. Hunter told me that if I would read it and ask my Heavenly Father if it was true, he would tell me and I would understand its truths. I felt like I needed the Book of Mormon for dummies or something, I could hardly even pronounce the names of the people. However, I just kept reading. I loved it. I craved it.

Hunter's brother Jensen came home from BYU and was soon leaving on a mission. I saw his love for the gospel just like Hunter. After hanging out with him, I grew close with him. I couldn't believe he would be leaving for 2 years and that Hunter would be doing the same. Hunter invited me to his farewell talk, and I wanted so badly to go. I asked my mom and she said yes. I spent the night at Audrey's house and went to church with her. As I sat among the congregation, I truly felt a special spirit. It was my first time being there, and the first time I felt the spirit. I remember going back to Audrey's house and watching the other side of heaven. I felt so happy, I felt like I was exactly in the right place. I got home and my mom asked me how it was. I told her how great it was and how nice everybody was. She told me that was what she was afraid of and that I wouldn't be going back. I was confused and hurt, how could something that felt so good to me be so wrong to her?

That summer I went to Europe for a month with my family. I kept my Book of Mormon hidden under all of my clothes in my suitcase. I would read a chapter right before I took a shower, then I would hide it underneath my towel as I walked back to my room. I knew I needed to find out for myself if this church was true and if that burning inside of me would last. I read and prayed as often as I could and began feeling my life change for the better. My clothing changed, my language, and my desires. I was away from the church for an entire month, I hadn't seen any of my friends either. When I got back they were having a ward youth conference. I was able to go to the last day and was so excited to be a part of church activities again. After a long day at the La Jolla cove we showered and returned to the church. There I experienced my very first testimony meeting. I saw my friends go up to the stand one by one as they poured their hearts out about how they knew the gospel was true. As tears streamed down their cheeks, I noticed my eyes welling with tears as well. I wanted a testimony. I wanted to be able to go up there and share that I knew the church was true as well. I knew that I was the only person that could make that possible. So, I made sure that I gained a testimony in every way I could. I experienced a complete change of heart, and I really liked it. I was so much happier, I knew I had a reason for being on this earth, and I felt so much closer to my Heavenly Father.

Despite my parents telling me otherwise, I still attended church every now and then, I went to dances whenever my friends wanted to, and I went to mutual when it was possible. Anything kept the spirit alive inside of me. I wanted to be at anything affiliated with the church, I felt such a strong love for the gospel. I knew so early on that I believed it was true. I couldn't deny it to myself, but I felt like I had to keep it a secret. I couldn't imagine the best thing that has ever happened to me being taken away. So, I just kept everything under the radar. I would spend the night at my friends houses on Saturdays then go to church in the morning with them. After, I would go home and not say a word. My friends knew my parents weren't fans of the church, but I had never told them I wasn't allowed to be going to activities or church meetings on Sundays. My best friend Jordyn's dad was the bishop of the ward at the time. One Sunday he came up to me and asked if my parents knew I was there. My heart skipped a beat when I had to admit that they didn't know. He told me he didn't want me to come back until I told them. I was heart broken and conflicted. More than anything I just wanted to be a member of Christ's church, is that so bad?

It became an ongoing battle with my family. It was so hard because I knew they didn't approve and couldn't stand even the thought of me converting. It became the elephant in the room that was avoided at all cost. I knew my family's thoughts and feelings which was what caused me to think the only way it would work is if I kept it a secret. I knew I wanted to convert since I was a freshman, but knew it wasn't even possible until I turned 18 years old. That meant I would have to keep quiet for 4 years. I knew it was worth it though.

I somehow survived all four of those years. My heart ached, there were tears, and so many tried to convince me it was wrong but my testimony kept me alive. I read, prayed, fasted, and did all I could to keep myself consumed in the church rather than the evil in the world. Hunter was an amazing influence on me. His love for the gospel really helped me along. Yes I did say influence, but I never said this decision I made was for him. It was completely my decision and always has been. My friends were such an amazing support system through it all, their example helped me become who I am today. I have such a full heart and so much to be thankful for.

As my senior year rolled around, I found my 18th brithday inching closer and closer. I was so nervous for the outcome. I started to prepare myself for the worst, but I tried to keep my fear inside. I went about my daily life as usual, but in May things started to change. The elephant was let out of the cage one night as I told my parents that I do believe this church is true. Tears were shed and my stomach was in knots. I felt things become more tense and awkward. I decided to meet with the missionaries for the first time, not even for discussions but for their advice and input. They told me something that I found so much truth in. I had been waiting for my parents to be ready to accept this, but would they ever? I had been waiting for their approval or desire to learn and understand so that we could take the discussions together. That just wasn't within reach. So they told me I was ready, and had been ready for quite some time now but they aren't. That decided my next move, I took that leap of faith. We set up my first discussion. As I took them, I noticed my testimony sky rocket even more than I thought was possible. It felt so right, not telling my parents on the other hand didn't. We set up a date for me to be baptized. I couldn't believe how quickly it approached. I had every intention to tell my parents and even to invite them, but the courage I had been hoping for never came. No time seemed like the right time to break their hearts. John Mayer said it best, "Bad news never had good timing". Ain't that the truth. I felt overwhelmed and my stomach was always uneasy. My testimony never disappeared though, that fire was still bright as ever. The night before my baptism, my mom had found out what was to happen the next night. That night felt like an eternity as I saw my mom's heart break. I longed for the elephant in the room again... I had told myself so many times before that it truly is my decision and that no one should be able to interfere with that. I poured out my heart to Heavenly Father more than I ever had before and felt such a spiritual confirmation that I needed to get baptized. Why put off what is going to happen in the end anyways?

This has been one of the hardest things in my life thus far. I never could have prepared myself for the heart ache I would experience. Nobody ever wants to, or intends to disappoint their parents but I did entirely. The day of my baptism I felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. I just wanted it to be over, I wanted to be a member of the church. I had no thoughts as I went under the water, every thought was erased from my mind. As I came up I found that not only was all of my sin washed away but my fear was as well. I was baptized. I was clean, pure, and perfect. Not to mention, happier than ever before. I'll remember that night for the rest of my life and the feeling I had when I walked out of the font. I'll also always remember my confirmation that following Sunday. I have received the greatest gift that anyone could ever give me.  The Holy Ghost dwells within me, I find so much comfort in that truth. Nothing will get in the middle of my faith, I have a sure and true testimony that cannot be broken. It hasn't been easy, in fact it has been really really hard, but I know I am where i am supposed to be. I know without a doubt that I will be so blessed for this decision and that even though it may be ridiculously hard right now, the road ahead has great things in store for me. I know this church is true with all of my heart. I firmly believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet and that he was able to restore Christ's true church on earth today. I know the Book of Mormon as well as the Bible are true. They walk hand in hand together and contain the fullness of the gospel. This is my testimony, that I am a daughter of Heavenly Father who loves me dearly and that his son Jesus Christ lives. I cannot wait to return to them. My heart is so full with happiness, there is no greater love than the love of the gospel.

So friends, wanna know a little something about Mormons? Go to the true sources, mormon.org and lds.org or find a Mormon on the streets. Want a Book of Mormon? Contact me and I'll make sure to get one for you. This gospel has worked mighty miracles in my life, I know it can do the same in yours.

Now take a listen to this song, I found so much comfort in it through the hardest times.

All my love,

-Aleigh Joy

7

When my thoughts get jumbled.

This week I literally tried to write in this blog every day and just couldn't do it. I can't get a hold of my thoughts and summarize, or even interpret all that is going on in my mind. I feel overwhelmed, with happiness, sadness, excitement, fear, confusion, complete understanding, amazement, and desperation. See where I'm going with this? Actually probably not, because I'm all over the place right now. I have 5 other tabs up on my laptop, every time I type a sentence I go to another tab. And breathe. I'm distracting myself. Then I remember I need to type, I just need to get it out.

I feel exhausted. Completely. I have been busy with well, everything. If I wasn't though, I would lose my mind. I get home at night and lay down, trying to fall asleep. By the time I actually do, I have to wake up for school in only a few hours. After 7 hours of that, I either have work or something else that just needs to get done. So there's the reasoning for physical exhaustion. But mental, that's a completely different story.

I'm graduating in 11 days, 5 school days. The end is near. Yes, graduation is exciting. It's something I've been looking forward to for what seems like forever. I'm finally going to be free of pointless busy work, nagging teachers, ridiculous girl drama, and everything else that would put me in a bad mood after a 7 hour school day ha. But, then all that good stuff is over too. I don't want to look back once I leave. It's time to start a new adventure. But, high school was such an amazing adventure. It made me who I am. Not exactly the school itself, that time of life is more like it. I was blessed with the most amazing best friends anyone could ever have. They were always there, through thick and thin. 2 of them are leaving after the summer is over. We're growing up. ASB helped me find the good in others, it taught me determination, and a good work ethic. I'm retiring my cheer uniform for good. My days of sparkly bows and pep rallies are over. So yes, I'm ready to take on this world one step at a time. I just can't seem to grasp that it's over. I'm finished.

Really though leaving high school is only a small portion of why I am being so dramatic. With graduation comes the scary part. A week after I graduate I will be moving in to my best friends house. This is exciting, really! I'm just nervous, really... I get homesick so easily. Its ridiculous. Until I feel completely comfortable with my surroundings, I get this pit in my stomach. I start missing just being in MY bed, having MY shower, staying up late with MY dad at MY house. Don't get me wrong I'm beyond excited to move out, but like graduation moving out means more than just that. When I move out some "changes" will be happening. Changes I'll inform you of a bit later. They give me anxiety, but so much happiness.

Really, I guess I'm just nervous. The road ahead is creeping up far too quickly. My thoughts still feel jumbled. But, I do feel like a bit of misunderstanding is cleared. This whole time I thought I was sad that my life will be changing right before my eyes. I'm not, I'm just anxious. And nervous.

By the way, it was senior spirit week this week. Wanna see what it's like to be a senior at my school?

Little Kid Day!

Tacky Toursit Day!

Celebrity look alike day!

Senior Citizen Day!

Senior Sunset

Okay, I need to go work on a project due Tuesday that is also stressing me out. I'm the worst procrastinator.

All my love,

-Aleigh Joy

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