Within the Walls of My Home

Photo credit to Kiely Ro Photography 

Part of me is saying it's not worth my time to write this post, but the other part of me is saying "hey wait, isn't this why you started a blog?" 

Sooo... here goes Nothin!

I'm not going to tell you who I voted for, because to be honest that shouldn't matter.

If you liked me before the whole voting scene went down, why should that change?

I won't define you by who you voted for, and I sure hope you won't, me. 

We all woke up this morning and went about our lives per usual, correct?

Maybe a few were celebrating, a few were crying, and a few were upset, sure... but we all lived the same Wednesday we always do.

Because that's the thing... this country will not change over night.

America has undergone some pretty rough things in the past, if you paid attention at all in school you'll agree with me there, and somehow we survived it all.

If you aren't a fan of the new president, that's fine, but please don't act out irrationally.

The United States of America is and should be just that... United.

With each other, with our neighbors, with our families, and our president.

I get it, you don't agree with everything he stands for... but will you ever agree with everything a president stands for?

Probably not.

I didn't agree with quite a few things our last president changed and believed in, but my life still went on and I chose to focus on the bigger, more eternal picture. 

If you're planning on moving tomorrow, so be it.

But as for me, I am entirely proud to be an American no matter who is in office.

Our country is not defined by our president, it is defined by our people.

So try, and try hard, to be a people of love, compassion, and empathy.

You may not agree with him, me, or her... but you can still choose to represent yourself in a respectful matter.

Alright, now that those thoughts are out... 

I want to ask you to think about what is most important to you.

Think real hard.

I hope more than anything, you are thinking about your family.

Whether that be your immediate family, extended family, or those that are "like family," those are the people we should truly be thinking about right now.

I encourage each of you that are reading this to stop scrolling through Facebook and posting your differing opinions on people's statuses and to think about what you can do to create a stronger family focused on Christ. 

Because that is what matters, and if you have faith in The Lord, you have faith in our country. 

So as for me, I'm not freaking out about this election.

I can't believe we ended up with those two candidates... but I knew I could live with either one of them in office because they make temporal decisions, not eternal. 

As for me, I'll be using these times of disagreement as a time to teach my children what really matters.

And, I'll be doing this within the walls of my own home; where only mine and my husband's opinions matter.

My goal is to make our home a sanctuary that my family looks forward to coming home to.

That will only happen if I teach them correct principles, not those of hate and judgement.

I'll teach them that racism is two sided and can be demolished if we have the pure love of Christ in our hearts.

I'll teach them to respect others even if they have a differing opinion.

I'll be teaching them that women are strong and important, but men are too. 

I'll be teaching them that love conquers all hate and to love as they wish to be loved.

I'll also be teaching them that the going will get rough, but it's how we handle ourselves in those moments that defines us.

I'll teach them that we will always respect our president because he/she is an imperfect person too, and everyone deserves a chance.

I'll teach them to pray, in all things and through all things.

Last but absolutely not least, I'll always emphasize that the world we're living in currently is not forever. This world is in control of our Maker, and he has a plan for us that will make every trial and hardship worth it to experience pure and complete joy. 

So if today, yesterday, or tomorrow you're having a hard time, try a little harder to remember that all that really matters, is what happens within the walls of your own home.
If you really want to make a difference, raise the next generation of voters to have a little more love, understanding, compassion, honesty, and faith in their hearts.

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

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#That'sLife

Oaklyn's Cute leggings are from Fancy Frogz boutique

I am continually finding that children teach adults much more than we will ever teach them.
Or at least that's how it's going in my case.
I'm constantly picking out life lessons I needed to understand based off what my child or other people's children have taught me.
Yesterday, was one of those teaching moments.

I took Oaklyn and Hunter's young cousin to a little carnival in our town.
We were having fun doing all the activities and both kids got several prizes.
Because Oaklyn is little, she didn't even understand when her 2nd cousin (once removed?) won more than her or got a different flavor of candy.
It made things quite easy on my end.
The last thing we were going to do before going home was get balloon animals.
We waited in line for a while and I told both girls to start thinking about what they wanted as we got closer.
Of course Oaklyn could care less but when she heard her cousin say she wanted a dog, that's immediately what she wanted too.
Okay, easy enough... I'll even get them in the same color so they don't want the other one's balloon.
The man making the balloon animals clearly doesn't have children because he made two pink dogs, but in two different shades of pink...
He handed one to each girl and we walked away with two excited kiddos.
As we were walking to the car I asked Hunt's cousin if she had fun.
She said, "yeah, I just wish my balloon was the color of Oaklyn's."
She didn't say it in a bratty way, she just truly liked that shade of pink better.
I told her I was sorry and that we would be more specific with the guy next time because we both knew there was no getting that balloon animal out of Oaklyn's hands.

I knew she didn't care much and very easily moved on, but it caused me to think about how that same scenario often happens in my own life.
I buy a new dress and I love it, until I see another girl in the same dress but a different color.
Suddenly, I really want that color and forget how much I loved my dress in the first place.
I get so excited to decorate for holidays and parties and then I see other's decor and suddenly just want to change mine completely.
There's even times when I'm actually very content with my life but some way or another a shadow of doubt sweeps over my mind creating a blanket of jealousy and suddenly my life is not up to par.
I then completely forget just how happy I was before my mind started playing the game of comparison.
However, this child managed to move on quite a bit easier than I tend to because #thatslife.

It was interesting to me to realize that jealousy happens at an incredibly young age and just carries on in different forms as we get older.
It may thin out over the years as we get more comfortable and confident with our own lives, but it seems to always be there even when we don't really notice it.
It manipulates our minds into thinking we always need something different or more.
I'm not proud to admit that jealousy in my own mind has caused me to think things I don't truly mean, and change things that didn't need fixing.
I'm always striving to better myself and a little healthy competition can be a good thing, but once it turns to envy and rules our thoughts and actions, it's time to reevaluate.
We cannot live our best life and up to our full potential if we are just wishing we had someone else's success and happiness.

Jealousy often happens when you can relate to someone in some shape or form.
Such as when you have the same amount of kids as your best friend, when you have a similar house as your neighbor, or even when you have similar talents as a family member.
If you are unable to relate to a person, generally, they don't threaten those little jealousy monsters in your mind because they aren't seen as "competition" or as having anything more you desire.
However, just like the balloon story, all it takes is something you remotely desire to set off those thoughts.

I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the two girls playing together with their dogs, or as Oaklyn says, "Gidas."
They were content and smiling and it was as if they no longer could see the color difference of the two balloon animals.
They were having fun and laughing and I couldn't help but think, "why is it so hard for me to move on from a jealous mindset if it's so easy for them?"
We are taught by the scriptures that we are to become like little children.
Why? Because even though they may drive us crazy at times, they are perfect.
This small little balloon encounter was yet another witness of that to me.
This child decided to move past her initial jealous instincts and see my daughter as her family and someone she loves.
She decided to love my daughter and showed it by playing with her, while also deciding to love what she initially didn't.
She changed her mindset, just as we all should try to do, with love.

So, when life hands me something that may appear to be "not enough," I'll remember that my own version of the pink balloon can still bring me joy and happiness if I just let love conquer every thought and feeling.

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

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When Nothing Else Makes Sense

I haven't quite been able to pinpoint my recent thoughts and feelings and adequately put them into words, but I feel like it's time to at least get something out. So, here's a little bit about how our family's world was recently rocked...
 It was a Saturday morning and I was fast asleep after being up all night. Hunter was on a camping trip and all sorts of anxiety kicks in keeping me awake when he isn't home. I can't recall what I was dreaming about when my sister in law came frantically running through my door, but what she had said made me think I was still dreaming... no wait, I thought I was having a nightmare. It was 9:55am on July 30th when I felt her tear hit my arm as we held each other close and I realized it was in fact a reality. A really horrible, devastating, unfair, unexpected, and surreal reality.  "I guess he was running and then just collapsed" I heard her say. "Right as I was headed out the door for brunch I read the text saying that dad died." We were sobbing in each other's arms and before we could even process the news we had just heard, our phones began to ring. It was other family members all as hysterical as we were. There was one common goal, get to San Diego as fast as possible. We were bawling and packing and praying and wondering how any of this could even be real. We managed to have the car packed and ready to go around 11:30 and thinking about meeting up with my sweet heartbroken husband devastated me. He had been at a campout with the young men in our church and getting the news to him, was quite difficult. I strongly remember silently praying the shortest and most sincere prayer I have ever uttered that I would somehow be able to comfort my sister in law and my husband during our unplanned car ride back home, amidst the gut wrenching feeling even I had. That 10 hour trip was something I'll never forget even though I was slapping my face to try to even stay awake. At times we were laughing about memories we had made with him and the next moment I could hear sniffles and saw tears streaming down cheeks. My own eyes were constantly welling with tears and the road was blurry almost the whole way. We were anxious to be with family but also dreading all that we were about to go through. It absolutely didn't make sense, any of it, and the rest of that week was the biggest blur. There were flowers and cards filling the kitchen, friends stopping by to offer support and comfort, funeral plans were arranged, finances were discussed, and there were tear stained cheeks everywhere you turned. 

I can hands down say, that Pat passing away has been the absolute hardest trial of any of our lives... and I cannot stand to believe that it's only beginning. It's been a month as of last Saturday, yet that time has felt like a lifetime. Sometimes, it doesn't feel real. Then again, this is the most real pain I have ever felt. I've gone through a variety of emotions these past few weeks and I'm sure the rest of the Moore family has as well. I've felt sad beyond comparison, then I'll remember a happy memory and smile through the heartache. I'll be listening to a song that brings me joy which quickly turns to tears. I've felt encouragement that we can do this incredibly hard thing, and then a blanket of fear takes over my mind. I've luckily felt a glimpse of peace knowing that our Father in Heaven has a wonderful plan and yet the next moment, I'll feel anger that we were robbed of what could have been.

It may seem odd to some people that I'm so upset over my father in law passing, especially because of all the jokes that in laws are hard, but I won the lottery in this department and loved him like a second father. So, to give you some background, here's a glimpse of the kind of man Pat was. He was humble and teachable yet always seemed to know the answer. He was kind and loving, yet tough when he needed to be. He was athletic and ate well, yet knew life was short so he enjoyed a treat or two. He got excited over his new "toys" but never bragged or let his "things" be the center of his life. His prized possessions were his family, faith, and country and he could talk your ear off about all three if you let him. He made the world's best cookies and really enjoyed a movie night if we were watching Sweet Home Alabama, A Cinderella Story, or Galaxy Quest. He has an incredible testimony of the restored gospel and served in his church callings diligently. He managed to care about and help everyone that came into his life in some shape or form. He also made sure all of his good deeds went unnoticed as he never sought praise. Pat accomplished more before 9am everyday than anyone I've ever known, and finished all the Lord needed of him on this earth in only 57 years.

It's safe to say that none of this makes sense to me. Not any part of it. I've gone through several scenarios in my head just trying to understand how this could happen to us, or better yet, why this happened to us. You know that line in the song "If I Die Young" that goes, "funny when you're dead how people start listening?" I think that was written for Pat. His teachings, even though he isn't physically here on earth, are still being taught. I know that his legacy will live on and his short life with bless others, but it just doesn't seem fair to us. I know the Lord needs him but it's hard not to feel like we need him more. As I was thinking about my sweet mother in law and recognizing her strength through this incredibly difficult trial, I realized the only thing keeping her going, is her testimony. The same goes for the rest of the family. Without it, I'm positive this would be a million times harder. Even though nothing else seems to make sense to me, at least my testimony of Heavenly Father's plan  does. I know we will see Pat again. In fact, I'm positive he's preparing to show us all around and can't wait for us to be there with him. The veil between our earthly home and our heavenly home has been incredibly thin these past few weeks as I've pondered the concept of life and death.

 I know what the plan is for all of us and I truly believe in it, but I'll admit I have wondered how "The Plan of Happiness" could be anything but happy for us right now. It's taken a month of deep thought and prayer to come to understand that His plan is so much more than what happens on this earth and what we can comprehend. True and complete happiness, the kind where families can be together forever, where children don't ever go hungry, where slavery doesn't exist, where goodbyes aren’t necessary, where bodies don’t age, get injured, bleed, or die, and where "bad news" is never said, can only exist in a greater place. This is the happiness we’re being shaped for while being tested and tried on this earth. It’s the happiness that will be ours, without end, once we make it through our time on a fallen world that promises opposition daily. It’s the joy that will be our rest once we work hard and have done all we were meant to do in mortality. His plan of happiness, is happiness, and that will bring hope and faith to our hearts during this life when nothing else seems to make sense. 

I've began to think a little deeper about the blessings we all crave. You know, to pay the bills without worry each month, to take away the physical and emotional pain our loved ones experience, to see those struggling with infertility finally have children, and to be reunited with the loved ones taken from us too soon... These blessings that seem to never come make so many of us wonder, “How is this really in a plan of happiness?” And that’s when we need to be reminded that if we lived a life free of opposition and trouble, we truly would never know the complete joy waiting for us, and we’d never have a need for Him. After all, happiness isn’t a lack of misery, it’s knowing the feeling of misery and then living eternally in a place where that is overcome.

Every so often, we are blessed with a little reminder of a broader, more eternal plan. A plan that we can't quite understand because the concept of eternity is not one our minds can quite grasp in our mortal state. But, there’s a beauty in knowing that our eternal value is far greater than any feeling we'll ever experience during our time away from home and that a seat is being saved for us by our loved ones we dearly miss. 

It's hard, honestly, to not feel discouraged when hardship falls upon us. It's scary to think of the rest of our lives without a spouse, parent, child, sibling, friend, or grandparent. I'm sure several of you are nodding your head because you have been through the same sorrow, though a different gravestone. It's easy to question and wonder how this could really be a perfect plan when it feels far from it while going through the trials we once agreed to enduring. But, let us always remember that the Lord has felt every pain we will ever feel and wants us to need Him. He agreed to the plan just as we did, and though it's everything but easy currently, it will lead to pure and eternal joy.

“Frustrations are only temporary... The Lord has promised that in the eternities no blessing will be denied his sons and daughters who keep the commandments, are true to their covenants, and desire what is right.” -Dallin H Oaks

Pat, we'll miss you every day until His great plan is fulfilled. Thank you for uplifting us, teaching us, helping us, and guiding us. Thank you for being the perfect role model for my husband. I can't wait to teach my kids all about you and I must admit, I'm a little jealous you get to meet them before me ;) "Our ultimate goal is to live together forever in the presence of The Lord, Forever Moore."

If you'd like to see the beautiful memorial video made for Pat by my sister in law Michelle, click here.

And lastly, thank you to everyone who has supported our family in the form of words, prayers, meals, cards, hugs, texts, phone calls, monetary donations, and just being there... We appreciate it far more than we'll ever be able to say. 

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

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A Little Kindness Never Hurt Nobody

I've been thinking quite a bit about this topic lately and it just so happens that I made a guest appearance on Steffanie's (from The Urban Hare) mocktail periscope series and the topic was on being kind.

This topic has been on quite a few mother's (or parents in general) minds lately based off the current tragedies that have made the news.

(If you are unaware please refer to the articles here and here)

It is interesting, and quite frankly, annoying, that the parents of these children have become the subject of ridicule online as they mourn the loss of their child.

No parent wants to outlive their child. Ever.

The thought alone makes my heart ache.

So what's interesting to me, is that others can't seem to offer their condolences to these families but instead feel the need to tell them that the death of their child was their own fault.

Seeing the cruel remarks of those hiding behind a computer screen makes me sick, and it needs to stop. Now. 

These words are harsh and unfair, and truly will do nothing beneficial in the end. 

You see, It’s easy to throw other parents under the bus when something horrific happens because we want to believe that we are somehow better. 

It's easy for parents to believe that their "superior parenting" can prevent a tragedy and that bad things can only happen to an "irresponsible parent."

Want to know the truth?

Bad things happen to good parents, good families, good people... and when those bad things strike they deserve our empathy, and never our judgement.

I want to share a quick story with you:

Somewhere around 10 months ago, when Oaklyn wasn't quite mobile, I was able to set her on top of my bed without worry.

In the mornings, she would lay next to me as I would relieve myself from the night and pump to supply food for her. 

She would smile and grab her toys as we laid there together.

One morning I got bored while pumping and turned my head for a split second to grab my phone. 

When I looked back she was already off the bed, in mid air, about to fall on the floor.

Her little body hit and she instantly began to scream.

I jumped off the bed and frantically grabbed her.

We spent the rest of the morning rocking on the rocking chair as I probably whispered "I'm sorry" 100 times in her little ear.

The reason I share this story with you, is because it is an example, though far less tragic, that resembles what is currently happening.

I'm sure it would be easy for a lot of you to say that I should have just kept my eyes on her and that wouldn't have happened. 

I'm also sure that some may say I shouldn't be so glued to my phone and that my daughter wouldn't have fallen.

But what I'll tell you, is that it was an accident.

It was an accident I wish would've never happened, but it did and accidents happen often.

Especially when you are a parent balancing a million things every single day.

There is no such thing as a perfect earthly parent.

So to all of you other imperfect parents out there, I beg you, to stop shaming and blaming all other mothers and fathers that are just trying to do their best daily. 

My heart breaks for all of the families that lose their children to bizarre and horrific accidents daily.

We all often point fingers, but try instead, to take the high road and show kindness to those in need.

Instead of criticizing and ridiculing, try uplifting and rallying around others.

It's much easier to smile than frown, and it is much easier to share a good thought than to deny it. 

Try your hardest to be soft and kind instead of letting the world make you bitter and hard. 

If the words you wrote on social media appeared on your skin, would others still think you are beautiful?

We all say that we want to teach our children to be kind and uplifting, well the best way to do so, is to practice what you preach. 

So I encourage all of you to back up other parents instead of tearing them down.

Parenting is hard enough, we don't need bystanders making it harder. 

And always remember, a little kindness never hurt nobody.

All my love,

Aleigh Joy 

5

Why I am Choosing to Still Shop at Target

I've questioned writing this post this whole week. 

I've gone back and forth between thinking it was a good idea and then a bad idea.

 I finally decided... That this is my blog, my little space of the internet, and I will say what I feel for that reason.

And just a friendly reminder, to each his own. 

When Target announced their policy on allowing transgender people to use whatever restroom they please, I must admit I felt a little... unhappy with the news.

I should start off by saying that I am LDS, or Mormon.

For those of you who are familiar with the religion, you would probably agree with me in saying that most LDS people are quite conservative in their beliefs.

I contribute to validating that statement because most all of my beliefs are very much so conservative. 

When it comes down to religion and morality, I don't agree with the LGBT community.

If you want to think that is terrible of me... go right ahead, but that is where I stand.

However, I believe in the Bible and all the words in it, so I have chosen not to feel hate towards them but to try and show love and kindness just as our Savior does because even when you disagree, it is possible to still love. 

That being said, let's talk about the mean words people have been throwing around on Facebook statuses, blog posts, and articles all around the internet. 

I have been dismayed when seeing people so quick to judge and assume that just because someone does not agree with what they believe, they immediately assume they are being hateful and decide to call them things such as a bigot, or showing discrimination. 

I cannot speak for all of us, but I will say that most people are not actually any of those things.

They are merely stating what they believe and that is actually an okay thing to do.

I like being educated and though this may sound weird to my grandparents, social media is a great way to become educated on world wide topics and hear other people's opinions these days. 

So please, stop being so quick to judge. 

Whether someone is completely okay, or upset with this policy, I don't think they have chosen where they stand out of hate. 

Let's move on now...

I guess in writing this article I must state that I am not happy about Target's policy.

However, I'm not going to let it stop me from shopping in their stores.

So, why am I not okay with this?

I'm sure that most people like to believe that it is because I hate transgender people, but that is most definitely not the case.

I am almost positive I have been in a bathroom with a transgender person at one time or another.

I don't know if I have... but I'm pretty darn sure the odds are pretty great that I have been.

Does that bother me? Nope. Not one bit.

Why? Because they were in there to go to the bathroom, just as I was.

They didn't bother me, and I hope that I didn't bother them.

We both did our business, and left.

Target has now opened those (once slightly more secure) doors to anyone and everyone.

I like my privacy, but I like feeling safe even more. 

I now feel worry, and I just don't like that.

Not because transgender people are "aloud" to go in the same restroom as me now, I'm sure they were already doing that... but because the door is now open to anyone to walk into any restroom without being questioned.
I feel as though that may cause less secure circumstances in the walls of a bathroom.
And yes, to those of you thinking it, you are probably right that this scenario may not happen often... but it sure can happen easier now.
I honestly believe that Target didn't even need to come out with this policy because transgender people were more than likely already using the bathroom they wished.
Now that they have put it out in the open, the debate at this point isn't even about those that are transgender... it is about safety. 

Before rambling too much on that topic because I'm sure I have several of you disagreeing with me at this point, I just want to say this is not stopping me from shopping at Target. 

I love Target.

More than ever since becoming a mother.

I like buying things comparable to something I could find at Anthro at a way better price.

I also love that I can wander for an hour and not get bored.

Target usually leaves me feeling happy and inspired to redecorate my house. Every time.

I don't agree with this new policy, but I'm also not going to let hate fill my heart and stop shopping there.

Remember earlier, when I said I want to love as our Savior does?

I feel that this also applies to shopping at Target.

I am fully entitled to my own opinion on where I stand with agreeing or disagreeing with whether or not being a transgender person is right or wrong, as are you, but I don't think that it is our place to judge others opinions and choices. 

I think that is the Lord's place, and he will ultimately decide.
 So, I am choosing to spend my days loving instead of judging. 

Does that mean I don't have a personal stance on the topic? No.

I have my own beliefs and I am staying true to them, but I will continue shopping at Target because I am choosing to show love over hate and not judging Target for making a decision that doesn't align with my own thoughts. 

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

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