Life With Two... So far.

Monday, October 9, 2017

This post is somewhat of an update on life and somewhat of a follow up post to this one.
I also haven't blogged like... at all... since Cambria was born so I figured I'd do that ha.

The day Cambria was born I was instantly in love with her. Like smitten, maybe even obsessed? Hunter said recently that Cambria "walks on water" in my eyes because literally everything she does is adorable to me. I was so happy that this time around, the bond was instant. If you've been a reader for a while you know I had pretty severe PPD with Oaklyn and I think that really hindered the bond I had hoped for with her. Luckily it came later and we pretty much became best friends. However, it was so nice to feel the instant connection I had seen so many other moms experience this time around. The hospital was such a dream. She slept in my arms or on my chest the entire time, nursing was fairly easy, I felt mostly calm and relaxed... I couldn't believe how different this experience was. When we got home my mom was there to make dinners, take care of Oaklyn, let me recover, hold the baby while I showered and then my mother in law came the week after to do exactly the same thing. It was wonderful and I even thought to myself, "maybe two kids isn't so hard after all!" 

When both grandmas left, I pretty much became a one man show. Hunter has two jobs and goes to school full time so to be honest, he's not home much... I was tired and some nights were rougher than others, but overall I was shocked at how much smoother the transition from one to two was. Oaklyn was the type of baby that I literally could not put down. So far, Cambria has been a much more mellow baby and that has been a huge blessing. Oaklyn has also gotten a little more used to being home more often. Before Cambria was born, we were only really home to sleep during the night and nap time. Other than that, we were out playing! She loves being active and exploring so I just always had activities planned constantly. With a nursing baby, that became pretty complex. So we're still kind of adjusting to a slower lifestyle. 

As far as sharing the love goes, that has actually been pretty hard for me. I'll be honest in saying I'm not much of a baby person. Generally when babies cry it's a guessing game for me and makes me anxious and nervous. They're sweet and adorable but I'd much rather babysit a 4 year old than a 2 month old. That being said, I can't get enough of Cambria! She gets the hiccups and it's cute, she cries and it's cute, she smiles and my heart could literally burst. It definitely helps that she's such a sweet baby. Unfortunately, Oaklyn is going through a tough age right now and throws tantrum after tantrum all day long. When she's sweet, she's the sweetest. When she's not, well... it drives me nuts. I feel like everything with her is a fight right now and it stretches my patience pretty thin. I feel bad because I have to tend to Oaklyn's constant meltdowns and messes so I feel like I hardly get to hold Cambria. But then I also feel bad because when I am holding Cambria I'm talking to her sweetly and tending to her every need whereas with Oaklyn I expect more of her and get upset when she purposefully acts out. It's a balancing act for sure and while I love them both to pieces, this is just a hard phase. Babies need a lot of constant attention and care, and toddlers need constant stimulation and well, are just a lot for a mom haha. I know that this time is short and they honestly won't even remember it, but I'm always worried they can't feel how much I truly love them both. 

I feel like I get asked quite a bit how the two kid thing is going... and I generally answer with, it's going! I feel like my life is kind of a circus right now and most of that is just where we are in life. Hunter is SO close to graduating and I can't tell you how excited we are for him to be done. No more homework, no more classes, no more group projects... we can't wait! His two jobs also take up a good chunk of time and energy and I'm left feeling exhausted because I'm at home with the kids by myself most days. 

So, if you're nervous to make the transition from one to two kids... In my experience it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought it would be. It's challenging but motherhood is in general. Getting sleep is hard, doing your hair is hard, and finding time to yourself is hard... but that's just the newborn phase in general. I'll report back when Cambria is sleeping through the night and taking two solid naps a day ;) I'm honestly just trying to figure it all out and hoping I don't totally screw my kids up along the way, ha!
It's still so weird to me to say "my kids" like... I'm a mom. But not just a mom to a kid, but kidS!
Where has the time gone?

Anyways, there's a jumbled post on my thoughts on two, 8 weeks in ha.

I have some other posts that I'm really going to try to work on in the next few weeks that are a little more thought out. 
So please forgive me for my absence in this crazy time of life!

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

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