Thoughts On Two

Sunday, May 14, 2017

The other day I sat in the middle of our last home, moving boxes and chaos spread all around me, and pretty quickly I felt sick to my stomach. 
Here we were, days away from moving to our third home in 8 months and I felt so guilty that Oaklyn's little world would be turned upside down again.
 I looked over at the boxes of baby clothes that were once brand new, just waiting for her arrival.
 Now here they are, waiting for Oaklyn's baby sister. 
I again felt sick, how am I supposed to rock her world yet again in just a few months?

Not much later I thought back to the moment Hunter and I left our home as just the two of us for the last time.
We stood in the kitchen and hugged, tears were streaming down my cheeks from the pain of contractions... but also realizing our little world as just the two of us was about to drastically change.
I was terrified for this new chapter, excited yes, but terrified more than anything.
It wasn't going to be just the two of us anymore, and I just wasn't sure if I was ready for that yet. 

I was pretty much an emotional wreck the first few months of Oaklyn's life as I was trying to get used to my new role as a mommy. 
One day though, I woke up not remembering life without Oaklyn.
Her sweet smile and chubby little hands felt like they had been in my life forever and trying to remember life before her felt so meaningless.
Hunter is smitten by her and my heart aches when I go longer than a few hours without seeing her.
She really is everything to us and though some days feel much longer than others, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

At one point in time, having her in our lives was brand new and took some serious getting used to.
Now, life wouldn't be the same without her in it.
I feel so much comfort in knowing that one day we will feel the same about little baby C.
At first, it'll probably be different and overwhelming for Oaks.
But one day, I'll see them playing at the park together and wonder how we ever lived life without two.
I'll admit that I'm scared to bring another little one into this world, but Oaklyn is getting a lifelong friend in a few months and I can't wait for the two of them to meet.

Oaklyn is my best little buddy. No words will ever be able to explain the love I feel for her. 
We spend every single day together and share some of my favorite memories.
She made me a mother and for that, we'll always have a special bond.
She taught me how to love unconditionally and she trusted me when I had no idea what I was doing.

It scares me to think that in a few months I have to divide my love between two, but I'm also so thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed me with the opportunity to love this much again.
This Mother's Day, my heart is so full of love for my two girls.
I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to love the way a mother does.

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

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