See You Soon My Love

Twenty Three Months!!!

The last of the monthly countdown posts is here!

I've only been dreaming of this moment since day one.

I'm in disbelief that he is really coming home.

When you are apart for this long, being together again feels a bit more like a dream than a reality.

A really, really, really good dream , however reality will be so much better :)

The dreams were nice while they lasted, but I'm beyond ready for the real thing.

For, him :)

So, I guess this is the end of the line.

Why am I crying right now?

How did we get here?

I can't believe it!

What's even harder to believe is that in 22 days I will be able to hug him, touch him, smell him, hold his hand, hear his voice, go on dates with him, play speed and war with him, make fun of college names during basketball season with him, tickle him, snuggle with him, look into his eyes, feel the rush of excitement I get just standing in his presence, show him off to the world, and yes I will be able to kiss him. What? Yes. Yes I said that :)

I love that boy.

I love him with all that is in me.

Oh wait did I say boy?

I meant man.

I forgot that he's a big bad 20 year old now.

The last I saw him he was a teenager.

Only 18 actually.

Time flies. 

So I wanted to let you in on a little secret.

Do you want to know if you really love someone?

Let them go.

I know you won't believe me, but really.

I promise that you don't know what you got til it's gone. 

Hunter's dad told us this when we were youngins, and I finally know why.

With every passing week we spent apart, with every letter that was written, with every picture that was sent, with every tear that was shed, with every package that was put together, with every memory that was replayed... we fell that much more in love.

We have grown closer together during this time apart than I thought was possible. 

My heart is aching to be with him again, but I will forever be grateful for this time we spent apart.

I need him in my life forever, and thank goodness he feels the same way. 

We said goodbye for two years and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

 But in the grand scheme of things, that is absolutely nothing compared to eternity :)

Elder Moore, I feel like a giddy little school girl thinking about you coming home to me. 

And now to finish up my favorite story, the story of us.

This last bit might be hard to get through without tears being shed.

Thank goodness it will be soon enough that we can make new memories :)

Here's the link to my last post!

(ps. this ones a long one)

Every day of that last summer we spent together felt like a fairy tale. Every night we said goodbye that summer made the hole in my stomach feel bigger and bigger. Hunter was getting ready to take off for BYU and even though I knew we would one day end up together, I couldn't shake that nervous feeling of just wanting to keep him here away from all of those Cougars. And by that I actually mean all of the ring hungry freshman. Sorry, that wasn't meant to be offensive but it was a real concern haha. The night before he left I tried my hardest to keep the tears to myself. When I got in my car, I broke down. I wanted senior year to just be over. I couldn't imagine going through a whole year of high school without him. The next morning I said goodbye to him before I had to leave for my first day of my senior year. Neither of us knew what to say, so we just held each other tightly in our arms. I then looked at him and said "are you ready for your surprise?" Now, I somehow overlooked explaining what this surprise was when I should  have a few posts back. So I'll do some explaining now. I began creating this surprise back when I was a sophomore in high school. I had planned on giving it to him before his mission but before college felt like a better fit. I had worked on it all those years and he had no idea what it was. I would just tell him "Oh, I'm just working on the surprise what are you doing?" and it drove him crazy trying to guess what it was. So, the time was finally here. We walked out to my car and I pulled out a red bag. He opened it to find a card. In that card I explained to him that the bag contained three journals. I wrote in those journals about us and our love story every single day since I started them my sophomore year. I wanted us to have them to show our kids in the future, to reminisce on old memories, and for him to see how I felt after every day or night we spent together. I poured my heart out in those journals, I told him secrets I hadn't told anyone else, and I put old pictures, movie tickets, homecoming tickets, and anything I thought of in those pages. After reading the card he was already in tears. As he took them out one by one I began to cry. He pulled me in for a hug and told me that he loved me. Between the tears I was able to look up and tell him that I loved him as well. We walked back inside hand in hand and it was about time to say goodbye. What is the right way to say goodbye? I'll never know, because no matter what it hurts more than anything. Although I hated the fact that he would be ten hours away, I was grateful  that it prepared us for the bigger goodbye that was to come. After we had our final hug he watched my car drive away with his little sister in the passenger seat. It was a very quiet ride to school with a few sniffles here and there and lots of tears being wiped. I headed straight for my first class hoping that I wouldn't see anyone. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to have to explain how sad I felt. I avoided as many people as I could until one of my friends stopped me in the hallway. She took one look at me and said "You said goodbye to him today didn't you?" I immediately reached out for a hug and began crying once again. And so goes the first week of my senior year. Him being away was difficult. We were advised to only call each other once a week and almost never text each other. Which was really the hardest thing ever. But, those Sunday 5 hour calls were heaven on earth. I don't know how we never ran out of things to talk about but the phone bill was out of control. After a month and half apart he came home for his brothers wedding. My hands were sweating waiting for the car to pull up. Seeing him again was surreal. We didn't leave each others side that weekend. It truly goes down as being one of the best weekends in the history of ever. I remember one night in particular. It was the night of the wedding. We were already dreading the goodbye once again so we made the most of the time we had. How? Sleeping... It was a long day and we snuggled up on the couch at the end of the night. I played with his hair and he fell asleep. It wasn't long before I followed his lead and fell asleep on his shoulder. We were woken up by his dad who let us know it was time to say goodnight. It took about 5 minutes to actually wake up but when we did we looked into each other's eyes in a way we never had. I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. We were lost in a trance and we both agreed that we absolutely HAVE to get married one day. A feeling like that only happens once with one person, and we were each other's one person. Of course that goodbye was no easier than the first. I woke up extra early to say goodbye to him since he had plans on hitting the road practically before the sun rose (exaggeration). We spent some time snuggling and I watched him do some last minute packing. I was sitting on a rocking chair just watching him walk back and forth. He walked passed me and winked. I giggled like a school girl. He came back and winked again and it made my heart skip a beat just as the first wink did. He started walking away and then stopped. He came right back over and kissed me. Right then, I visualized our future. And it was perfect. I was counting down the days until he would be home for Thanksgiving. Then I had the most brilliant idea. I proposed to Hunter that I should take a little trip up to Utah and visit him for a few days. We worked out all the details and my plane ticket was bought. I had knots in my stomach on the plane ride to Salt Lake. I couldn't believe I was actually on my way to see him! I called him when I landed and after a minute or two of figuring out where each other were our eyes finally met. Yes, it was absolutely a scene from a movie. And yes, he opened the car door for me :) We had some time to kill before we were going to the BYU football game that night so he took me to a little park. It was freezing, but we threw snow balls at each other, ran around the park holding hands, and looked at the crazy ducks swimming in the icy water. Later that night we went to the game together. We both froze our buns off but it was so worth it being with each other. My heart jumped when one of his friends would walk over and say "So this is the girl?? I've heard so much about you!" We snuggled as it snowed, but our California blood finally had enough. We left during the third quarter and spent the rest of the night defrosting in the car listening to Christmas music. He took me to one more park where we talked about our future and all it had in store for us. We sat there in silence for a minute or two and tears started rolling down my cheeks. He of course thought I was sad but I instead let him know that I was happier than I ever had been and those tears were incredibly happy tears! He hugged me even tighter once I said that and then took me to where I was staying. I took a warm shower that night feeling like I was living a real life fairy tale. We spent our time together at temple square, walking around BYU, and at his brother's house. We made memories that we will treasure forever and lucky for us we then got to spend 10 hours in the car together on our way back to California for Thanksgiving. That of course was also amazing and once again the goodbye killed me. What killed me even more though, was knowing that the next goodbye would be for two years instead of a couple of months. After 2 more weeks he came home for Winter break. After many wonderful nights spent snuggling and watching Christmas movies his farewell talk snuck up on us. It was 9:00am church on New Years Day and I was fighting to stay awake. that is, until he took the stand. I cried in happiness as he bore his testimony of the restored gospel. I knew he would be an amazing missionary. I knew he was doing the right thing. I knew we would get through the two years. But, I still wished I could just pause time. The night of his farewell party we spent an hour talking outside in the cold before it started. We spoke to each other about what we really hoped for in the future and though he didn't necessarily "ask" me to wait for him we discussed how we would make that work too. I promised him that I would be right here when he got back. A promise I intend to keep :) It was scary realizing the next time we would see each other we would have to be grown ups and take on "real life" together. So yes, we have had a serious talk about our future, our plans, and our desires. And yes, they absolutely matched up. Yet another confirmation that we are meant to be. The next few days were a blink and it was suddenly time to say goodbye. We snuggled for the last time and held each others hands tightly. We wished time would just stop for the moment but the clock kept ticking. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to engrave that moment into my mind. When I opened them my stomach sank. It was time. We took one look at each other as tears began to fill our eyes. I buried my head in his chest and couldn't stop the tears. I had never cried so much in my life, I had never felt that genuinely sad. I held on to him wishing I would never have to let go. He wiped the tears from my eyes and let me know that everything would be alright. I wanted to believe him, but my heart felt like it was breaking into a million little pieces. He lifted my head up and whispered "I love you Aleigh, I really do." I was able to tell him the same between the sniffles. It was time for him to put his suit on so he could be set apart as a missionary so I took another look at him trying to wipe away my tears and be strong. He pulled me in close for another hug and whispered one more thing: "Aleigh Joy, will you marry me? I promise I'll say it better in two years." I was able to smile and I whispered "Yes, I wouldn't have it any other way." So, I guess you could say we are engaged to be engaged! After another hug he got up to put his suit on. His mother then came over and sat with me and said some of the kindest things I'll never forget. We cried together and hugged and I knew then that she would help me get through these two years. And that she did :) His Father gave him a blessing and yes, we all cried through that too. Everyone got up and Hunter and I had blank stares realizing it was really time. We embraced again and my makeup got on his white shirt. Why didn't I wear waterproof mascara? He told me it would be something to remember me by :) We exchanged the first of many letters and everyone made their way to the car. We went the opposite direction to say goodbye in the same spot we had since the first night I came over to his house. When we opened the front door his sister and sister in law were there to give us hugs. He walked me down to my car and there we had our last hug for two years. We said I love you in the most sincere tone I have ever heard it said and then I watched him drive away. And, my heart absolutely broke. I stayed in my car trying to catch my breath. The tears wouldn't stop. I felt like I had absolutely no control over my emotions. I drank some water and prayed for comfort. At that moment I felt prompted to read that first letter. I will cherish that letter forever. He is the sweetest boy I have ever met. That night I had quite a bit of trouble falling asleep. I covered my eyes with his blanket and prayed that he would be in my dreams. I woke up the next morning feeling drained. I stayed in my pajamas the entire day and looked at wedding ideas on pinterest. That was the beginning of the loneliness and the heart ache. Being away from the one you love isn't easy, in fact it is quite hard but I wouldn't trade this time apart for anything. We have both grown so much. We had to grow apart to grow together. I have fallen Moore in love with him each day he has spent in Ohio and I have spent in California. We put our relationship on hold for two years but somehow the letters got us through. I never even thought about dating anyone else. I didn't have a desire. I know he is the one and in 22 days we will make up for all the time we spent apart. That moment, when every feeling comes rushing back, will make it all absolutely worth it. 

Hunter Miles Moore, I loved you back then, I love you still, I always have, and I always will.

Well friends, there you  have it!

But don't worry, the story doesn't end here! 

It's only just beginning :)

All my love,

Aleigh Joy