The Feminist Evolution

When opinions of any sort, unless very light hearted, are brought up... I usually remain quiet. 

It's generally the safest bet in a world that has some seriously strong opinions.

On occasion though, I get this weird courage inside that I'm not exactly sure how to contain and I come here to write about it.
Opinions should be shared, whether or not they are the popular vote. 

So, this opinion isn't very light hearted... but let's try to remember that it is my opinion, and we all have one.

Feminism.

Yep, I just dropped that bomb!

Let's not get our panties in a wad just yet ladies, I have something to say...

By definition feminism is, and I quote: "the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes."

That being laid out for all to read, let's agree that all women are in fact feminists then...
In some way or form, I'm sure you want men and women to be equal.
Whether the things you want equality on have happened already or have not, if you want equality, you are a feminist.

It could be in pay, it could be in voting, running for political offices, education, opportunity to have a job, buying a home, having a credit card, being able to buy a car, and the more controversial issues... the list goes on and on but we'll leave it at that and let your mind do the rest of the thinking.

Now that we've established that, I'd like to explain why many cringe at the very mention of being a  "feminist" nowadays. 

Feminism doesn't quite mean what it used to.

To some it does, but to quite a few... there's an unwritten new-age definition that makes it hard for the rest of us to associate with.
To put it bluntly, new-age feminism is full of supremacy and entitlement. It is full of women that like to argue just about anything that to them, appears unfair. Because in the world we're currently living in, everything is "unfair", and everything is a "touchy subject."
So the way I've seen it, if you don't agree whole heartedly with every single thing these new-age feminists believe in, you can't identify as one...

Let's get something straight before I continue... I did not say that this is everyone who identifies as a feminist currently.

In fact, did I not say earlier that by definition, all women can probably proclaim to have a feminist mindset in some shape or form?

What I will say however, is that I cannot associate myself with what feminism has evolved into.

It's insane to me that there now seem to be different forms of feminism or degrees if you will.

Shouldn't there be one definition that we can all agree on?

I think that would make my facebook feed a whole lot less tense. 

The thing is, I really want to ask all of my lovely friends to please stop calling me a "shame" and a "disgrace" to all women out there because I decided not to march in the feminist protests last week. 

Just because I am pro-life, don't have a job outside my home, love my husband, am religious, enjoy being a homemaker, and don't hate Trump with a fiery passion (not that I like him, but hate is strong)... does not mean I don't think men and women should have equal rights.

However, I cannot stand behind what I don't believe in and so much of what I don't agree with was also being marched for. 

So, I respect the feminist movement so much as it stays true to it's real definition and can be ya know... inclusive. 

While I may appear as an embarrassment to many of you modern day feminists for my conservative and "old fashioned" views, the feeling became mutual when I saw photographs of you with tape in the shape of an x across your ta-ta's and vulgar signs with very uhm... unintelligent sayings. To put it nicely...

To all of you women that marched with a cause other than just hate towards men and did so peacefully, I say... You go girl, you must know what feminism really is ;)

And to all of the women feeling a whole lot of confusion based off the different articles you are reading, I'd like to say:

No, being a feminist does not go against your religion, it does not mean you have to hate men, and you absolutely don't have to stand for something you don't believe in!

It means you want equality of the sexes, and you can want that without marching in a protest you can't fully agree with. 

You are NOT a shame or a disgrace, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 
Especially if they have a hat in the shape of lady bits atop their head...

To conclude, I'd like to say one more thing.
I personally believe that women need to stop saying we are not equal to men because we actually are very much equal in God's eyes, He loves each of us just the same.
 But He created us to be different.
We as women need to understand that difference and realize that God has given us an incredible thing as women.
If you want respect, you must first respect yourself as a woman.
We are genetically different, and Thank Goodness!
Men need women just as women need men, but we wouldn't need each other if we were created the same.
We do not need to unite AGAINST men, we need to unite WITH them. 
Please, from one woman to another... try to understand that the world has enough hardness, cruelty, vulgarity, and obscenity. 
Be the woman that our maker created us to be and stop thinking that is an "old fashioned" thought.
Go be a lawyer, go be a surgeon, be a rock star, or own your own business... but don't try to be "like" a man while doing so.
We can be strong without being abrasive.
The world could really use some more women that truly understand our divine roles and virtue. 

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

6

Within the Walls of My Home

Photo credit to Kiely Ro Photography 

Part of me is saying it's not worth my time to write this post, but the other part of me is saying "hey wait, isn't this why you started a blog?" 

Sooo... here goes Nothin!

I'm not going to tell you who I voted for, because to be honest that shouldn't matter.

If you liked me before the whole voting scene went down, why should that change?

I won't define you by who you voted for, and I sure hope you won't, me. 

We all woke up this morning and went about our lives per usual, correct?

Maybe a few were celebrating, a few were crying, and a few were upset, sure... but we all lived the same Wednesday we always do.

Because that's the thing... this country will not change over night.

America has undergone some pretty rough things in the past, if you paid attention at all in school you'll agree with me there, and somehow we survived it all.

If you aren't a fan of the new president, that's fine, but please don't act out irrationally.

The United States of America is and should be just that... United.

With each other, with our neighbors, with our families, and our president.

I get it, you don't agree with everything he stands for... but will you ever agree with everything a president stands for?

Probably not.

I didn't agree with quite a few things our last president changed and believed in, but my life still went on and I chose to focus on the bigger, more eternal picture. 

If you're planning on moving tomorrow, so be it.

But as for me, I am entirely proud to be an American no matter who is in office.

Our country is not defined by our president, it is defined by our people.

So try, and try hard, to be a people of love, compassion, and empathy.

You may not agree with him, me, or her... but you can still choose to represent yourself in a respectful matter.

Alright, now that those thoughts are out... 

I want to ask you to think about what is most important to you.

Think real hard.

I hope more than anything, you are thinking about your family.

Whether that be your immediate family, extended family, or those that are "like family," those are the people we should truly be thinking about right now.

I encourage each of you that are reading this to stop scrolling through Facebook and posting your differing opinions on people's statuses and to think about what you can do to create a stronger family focused on Christ. 

Because that is what matters, and if you have faith in The Lord, you have faith in our country. 

So as for me, I'm not freaking out about this election.

I can't believe we ended up with those two candidates... but I knew I could live with either one of them in office because they make temporal decisions, not eternal. 

As for me, I'll be using these times of disagreement as a time to teach my children what really matters.

And, I'll be doing this within the walls of my own home; where only mine and my husband's opinions matter.

My goal is to make our home a sanctuary that my family looks forward to coming home to.

That will only happen if I teach them correct principles, not those of hate and judgement.

I'll teach them that racism is two sided and can be demolished if we have the pure love of Christ in our hearts.

I'll teach them to respect others even if they have a differing opinion.

I'll be teaching them that women are strong and important, but men are too. 

I'll be teaching them that love conquers all hate and to love as they wish to be loved.

I'll also be teaching them that the going will get rough, but it's how we handle ourselves in those moments that defines us.

I'll teach them that we will always respect our president because he/she is an imperfect person too, and everyone deserves a chance.

I'll teach them to pray, in all things and through all things.

Last but absolutely not least, I'll always emphasize that the world we're living in currently is not forever. This world is in control of our Maker, and he has a plan for us that will make every trial and hardship worth it to experience pure and complete joy. 

So if today, yesterday, or tomorrow you're having a hard time, try a little harder to remember that all that really matters, is what happens within the walls of your own home.
If you really want to make a difference, raise the next generation of voters to have a little more love, understanding, compassion, honesty, and faith in their hearts.

All my love,
Aleigh Joy

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A Little Kindness Never Hurt Nobody

I've been thinking quite a bit about this topic lately and it just so happens that I made a guest appearance on Steffanie's (from The Urban Hare) mocktail periscope series and the topic was on being kind.

This topic has been on quite a few mother's (or parents in general) minds lately based off the current tragedies that have made the news.

(If you are unaware please refer to the articles here and here)

It is interesting, and quite frankly, annoying, that the parents of these children have become the subject of ridicule online as they mourn the loss of their child.

No parent wants to outlive their child. Ever.

The thought alone makes my heart ache.

So what's interesting to me, is that others can't seem to offer their condolences to these families but instead feel the need to tell them that the death of their child was their own fault.

Seeing the cruel remarks of those hiding behind a computer screen makes me sick, and it needs to stop. Now. 

These words are harsh and unfair, and truly will do nothing beneficial in the end. 

You see, It’s easy to throw other parents under the bus when something horrific happens because we want to believe that we are somehow better. 

It's easy for parents to believe that their "superior parenting" can prevent a tragedy and that bad things can only happen to an "irresponsible parent."

Want to know the truth?

Bad things happen to good parents, good families, good people... and when those bad things strike they deserve our empathy, and never our judgement.

I want to share a quick story with you:

Somewhere around 10 months ago, when Oaklyn wasn't quite mobile, I was able to set her on top of my bed without worry.

In the mornings, she would lay next to me as I would relieve myself from the night and pump to supply food for her. 

She would smile and grab her toys as we laid there together.

One morning I got bored while pumping and turned my head for a split second to grab my phone. 

When I looked back she was already off the bed, in mid air, about to fall on the floor.

Her little body hit and she instantly began to scream.

I jumped off the bed and frantically grabbed her.

We spent the rest of the morning rocking on the rocking chair as I probably whispered "I'm sorry" 100 times in her little ear.

The reason I share this story with you, is because it is an example, though far less tragic, that resembles what is currently happening.

I'm sure it would be easy for a lot of you to say that I should have just kept my eyes on her and that wouldn't have happened. 

I'm also sure that some may say I shouldn't be so glued to my phone and that my daughter wouldn't have fallen.

But what I'll tell you, is that it was an accident.

It was an accident I wish would've never happened, but it did and accidents happen often.

Especially when you are a parent balancing a million things every single day.

There is no such thing as a perfect earthly parent.

So to all of you other imperfect parents out there, I beg you, to stop shaming and blaming all other mothers and fathers that are just trying to do their best daily. 

My heart breaks for all of the families that lose their children to bizarre and horrific accidents daily.

We all often point fingers, but try instead, to take the high road and show kindness to those in need.

Instead of criticizing and ridiculing, try uplifting and rallying around others.

It's much easier to smile than frown, and it is much easier to share a good thought than to deny it. 

Try your hardest to be soft and kind instead of letting the world make you bitter and hard. 

If the words you wrote on social media appeared on your skin, would others still think you are beautiful?

We all say that we want to teach our children to be kind and uplifting, well the best way to do so, is to practice what you preach. 

So I encourage all of you to back up other parents instead of tearing them down.

Parenting is hard enough, we don't need bystanders making it harder. 

And always remember, a little kindness never hurt nobody.

All my love,

Aleigh Joy 

5

Why I am Choosing to Still Shop at Target

I've questioned writing this post this whole week. 

I've gone back and forth between thinking it was a good idea and then a bad idea.

 I finally decided... That this is my blog, my little space of the internet, and I will say what I feel for that reason.

And just a friendly reminder, to each his own. 

When Target announced their policy on allowing transgender people to use whatever restroom they please, I must admit I felt a little... unhappy with the news.

I should start off by saying that I am LDS, or Mormon.

For those of you who are familiar with the religion, you would probably agree with me in saying that most LDS people are quite conservative in their beliefs.

I contribute to validating that statement because most all of my beliefs are very much so conservative. 

When it comes down to religion and morality, I don't agree with the LGBT community.

If you want to think that is terrible of me... go right ahead, but that is where I stand.

However, I believe in the Bible and all the words in it, so I have chosen not to feel hate towards them but to try and show love and kindness just as our Savior does because even when you disagree, it is possible to still love. 

That being said, let's talk about the mean words people have been throwing around on Facebook statuses, blog posts, and articles all around the internet. 

I have been dismayed when seeing people so quick to judge and assume that just because someone does not agree with what they believe, they immediately assume they are being hateful and decide to call them things such as a bigot, or showing discrimination. 

I cannot speak for all of us, but I will say that most people are not actually any of those things.

They are merely stating what they believe and that is actually an okay thing to do.

I like being educated and though this may sound weird to my grandparents, social media is a great way to become educated on world wide topics and hear other people's opinions these days. 

So please, stop being so quick to judge. 

Whether someone is completely okay, or upset with this policy, I don't think they have chosen where they stand out of hate. 

Let's move on now...

I guess in writing this article I must state that I am not happy about Target's policy.

However, I'm not going to let it stop me from shopping in their stores.

So, why am I not okay with this?

I'm sure that most people like to believe that it is because I hate transgender people, but that is most definitely not the case.

I am almost positive I have been in a bathroom with a transgender person at one time or another.

I don't know if I have... but I'm pretty darn sure the odds are pretty great that I have been.

Does that bother me? Nope. Not one bit.

Why? Because they were in there to go to the bathroom, just as I was.

They didn't bother me, and I hope that I didn't bother them.

We both did our business, and left.

Target has now opened those (once slightly more secure) doors to anyone and everyone.

I like my privacy, but I like feeling safe even more. 

I now feel worry, and I just don't like that.

Not because transgender people are "aloud" to go in the same restroom as me now, I'm sure they were already doing that... but because the door is now open to anyone to walk into any restroom without being questioned.
I feel as though that may cause less secure circumstances in the walls of a bathroom.
And yes, to those of you thinking it, you are probably right that this scenario may not happen often... but it sure can happen easier now.
I honestly believe that Target didn't even need to come out with this policy because transgender people were more than likely already using the bathroom they wished.
Now that they have put it out in the open, the debate at this point isn't even about those that are transgender... it is about safety. 

Before rambling too much on that topic because I'm sure I have several of you disagreeing with me at this point, I just want to say this is not stopping me from shopping at Target. 

I love Target.

More than ever since becoming a mother.

I like buying things comparable to something I could find at Anthro at a way better price.

I also love that I can wander for an hour and not get bored.

Target usually leaves me feeling happy and inspired to redecorate my house. Every time.

I don't agree with this new policy, but I'm also not going to let hate fill my heart and stop shopping there.

Remember earlier, when I said I want to love as our Savior does?

I feel that this also applies to shopping at Target.

I am fully entitled to my own opinion on where I stand with agreeing or disagreeing with whether or not being a transgender person is right or wrong, as are you, but I don't think that it is our place to judge others opinions and choices. 

I think that is the Lord's place, and he will ultimately decide.
 So, I am choosing to spend my days loving instead of judging. 

Does that mean I don't have a personal stance on the topic? No.

I have my own beliefs and I am staying true to them, but I will continue shopping at Target because I am choosing to show love over hate and not judging Target for making a decision that doesn't align with my own thoughts. 

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

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