The Bigger Picture

Monday, October 27, 2014

I'm typing this post as the little girl growing and developing inside of me has already kept me awake for several hours because she has decided to rest right on my bladder and stay there.
Talk about discomfort. 
But really, I love her for it.
 For letting me know she is in fact in there.
I know that she knows me, and I hope she knows how much I love her.
Last night I was sitting on the couch with Hunter and told him my concern that I hadn't felt her move all day long.
 As soon as I finished my sentence she kicked me, as if to say, "Don't worry mom! I'm fine, I was just a little sleepy today."
We played around with her for the next few minutes and completely enjoyed those sweet kicks.
We often talk about her little self and more often than not I catch myself tearing up thinking about holding her little body and kissing her baby cheeks.
We pray for her, we dream about all she will be, and we are preparing to be her parents.
Pregnancy is amazing for this reason. 
For the time you spend loving your child before you can hold them physically.
It is a time that Hunter and I have spent growing closer to each other so that baby girl has a loving home to be welcomed into.
We feel such a strong bond with this little one already.

However, I would be completely lying if I told you that pregnancy is a piece of cake.
I really haven't gotten very sick and have yet to experience a complication (and to all you mothers that do get sick and have numerous complications, you are a super hero to me) but I haven't quite felt that "pregnancy glow" that everyone talks about.
I vented to Hunter the other day about how my self esteem as far as self image goes has changed quite a bit since my belly began getting bigger and the rest of my body has began to swell.
Gaining wight isn't easy for me. Even if it is mostly out of my control.
I often look in the mirror and am not a fan of what I see these days. 
I'm used to a (mostly) flat stomach and being able to easily fit into my skinny jeans.
I now struggle to find a single shirt in my wardrobe that I feel comfortable in. 
It's silly. Really, I know it's silly that I'm even typing this.
I really do love knowing this little girl is in there and there are days that I actually do look in the mirror and think better thoughts. 
But, I'm caught in a very awkward stage of pregnancy where I don't feel that I look like I'm with child but rather that I'm just gaining some "newlywed weight."
Hunter hugged me tight after I let out everything I had been feeling and told me that he thinks I am beautiful and that he loves me more than anything.
He thanked me for being selfless and willing to be pregnant with our child.
His hugs alone were all I was really seeking, but what he said next is what really stood out to me.
I can't remember word for word but in my own words this is how my sweet husband comforted me.
Heavenly Father will bless me, and all of you other mothers, for bringing his children to earth and for having the desire to raise them and nurture them.

He will bless us for the struggles we endure during pregnancy and the trials we will face after. 
He will bless us for nurturing and loving these little ones.
He will bless us for all the times we spend getting up to pee in the middle of the night while our baby is sitting on our bladder.
He will bless us for the countless doctors appointments we go to and the moments we spend worrying when we don't feel any movement.
And, he will bless us for the months we spent not fitting into our old clothes but instead setting aside our pride and embracing the changes our bodies go through to bring his children into this world.

I needed to hear my husband tell me that there is a bigger picture.
He helped me realize that pregnancy and having kids is so much more than pretty nurseries, having the best baby shower, wearing the trendiest diaper bag, cute monthly pictures, the dreamiest birthday parties that took months of planning, and comparing our changing bodies to what they used to be.
I know I saw it before because this is what I chose, but I'm grateful that my husband helped me remember that I see and understand the bigger picture.
Having children is part of Heavenly Father's plan that he designed for us.
I know I can lose this baby weight, the heartburn will subside, my ankles will go back to normal soon enough, and my jeans will still be there in a few months.
But for now, I will look at these things as a reminder that I am creating an eternal family with my sweet husband, that our darling little girl will be here in about 3 and a half months for us to love forever, and that I am fulfilling my dream and purpose of becoming a mother and following His plan. 
I still have quite some time left of being pregnant and I'm only going to get bigger from here, but for now I will remember what a blessing it is that I get to be a mother and I will continue to remember that there is in fact, a bigger picture.

All my love,
Aleigh Joy


  1. Awe this post is absolutely adorable! I am so happy for you!

  2. I'm eternally grateful that you two get to have this wonderful experience. There is nothing more perfect and exciting then raising a child. You are beginning to see how much me and your mom love you and Hunter, as our children. Nothing like it in the world. Enjoy every minute. I love you:)

  3. I love everything about this and really needed to hear this today. The farther I get into my pregnancy the more I need to be reminded of the bigger picture. Thank you for this post!