Thoughts On Two

The other day I sat in the middle of our last home, moving boxes and chaos spread all around me, and pretty quickly I felt sick to my stomach. 

Here we were, days away from moving to our third home in 8 months and I felt so guilty that Oaklyn's little world would be turned upside down again.

 I looked over at the boxes of baby clothes that were once brand new, just waiting for her arrival.

 Now here they are, waiting for Oaklyn's baby sister. 

I again felt sick, how am I supposed to rock her world yet again in just a few months?

Not much later I thought back to the moment Hunter and I left our home as just the two of us for the last time.

We stood in the kitchen and hugged, tears were streaming down my cheeks from the pain of contractions... but also realizing our little world as just the two of us was about to drastically change.

I was terrified for this new chapter, excited yes, but terrified more than anything.

It wasn't going to be just the two of us anymore, and I just wasn't sure if I was ready for that yet. 

I was pretty much an emotional wreck the first few months of Oaklyn's life as I was trying to get used to my new role as a mommy. 

One day though, I woke up not remembering life without Oaklyn.

Her sweet smile and chubby little hands felt like they had been in my life forever and trying to remember life before her felt so meaningless.

Hunter is smitten by her and my heart aches when I go longer than a few hours without seeing her.

She really is everything to us and though some days feel much longer than others, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

At one point in time, having her in our lives was brand new and took some serious getting used to.

Now, life wouldn't be the same without her in it.

I feel so much comfort in knowing that one day we will feel the same about little baby C.

At first, it'll probably be different and overwhelming for Oaks.

But one day, I'll see them playing at the park together and wonder how we ever lived life without two.

I'll admit that I'm scared to bring another little one into this world, but Oaklyn is getting a lifelong friend in a few months and I can't wait for the two of them to meet.

Oaklyn is my best little buddy. No words will ever be able to explain the love I feel for her. 

We spend every single day together and share some of my favorite memories.

She made me a mother and for that, we'll always have a special bond.

She taught me how to love unconditionally and she trusted me when I had no idea what I was doing.

It scares me to think that in a few months I have to divide my love between two, but I'm also so thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed me with the opportunity to love this much again.

This Mother's Day, my heart is so full of love for my two girls.

I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to love the way a mother does.

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

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All She Taught Me

I remember the hugs, the texts asking when I would be home, all the moments she was cheering me on in the stands, the cards on my birthday, the goodnights kisses, the popsicles when I was sick, feeling her stroke my cheek as I laid on her lap, seeing our silver van in the parking lot every day after school, folding laundry together, seeing her stand there in the rear view mirror watching me drive away alone for the first time, and her sitting with me while writing my 5th grade president speech.

I remember so many memories of the best times with my mother, but most importantly, I remember her always being there for me.

My mom has shaped me into who I am today and she has never stopped caring about me or encouraging me to keep going towards my dreams.

Growing up, my mom always showed us she cared in the biggest and smallest ways.

We always had dinner on the table, she would pack my lunch every day and leave a little note on my napkin for me, she knew that when we were sick we needed her so she was always right there to snuggle us even though she knew that meant she would end up sick.

I also remember wanting to ride my bike home so badly in elementary school, but we transferred schools so it was way too far to ride all the way home.

So what did my mom do to make it work?

She brought Andrew and I our bikes after school every day and let us ride until a certain point where she would be waiting for us to load up the bikes in the trunk again and take us the rest of the way home.

Looking back, it was so important for me to ride my bike, even though it must have made it so much more difficult for my mom.

We could have gotten home in 10 minutes, but because we just had to ride our bikes, it took about 30.

But, she always took time out of her day to let us because she knew it was important to us.

Because of that, she taught me how important it is to slow down and let your kids be kids and how much the simple things matter.

My mom has also taught me to keep going, because of her example, to always chase my dreams and keep going. 

When I was in middle school, my mom decided to go back to school to get her degree in interior design.

I remember watching her do homework with the rest of us kids and thinking it was kind of funny, but it was important to her so she stayed dedicated.

She used that degree to open up her own shop with her best friend, a dream come true for her!

I strongly remember going to a house they were working on, and watching them work in action. 

There was so much passion in the room and I loved seeing my mom in her element. 

Watching her pursue her dreams has taught me to always chase mine.

She showed me how important it is to do something for yourself and that you can still be an incredible mom even when doing something for you!

In fact, she has helped me see that it is very needed to do something for you.

She is the main reason I have pursued this blog and stuck with it.

She has been nothing but supportive since the moment I told her I was going for it.

Thank you for teaching me that dreams can definitely come true mom!

I could go on and on about all the wonderful life lessons my mom has taught me, but the most important of all is how to be selfless and loving even when you feel worn out.

As a child, it is hard to see just how much your mom does for you.

Because moms do so much, you just sort of... expect it over time.

Since becoming a mom myself, I think I finally understand just how much mothers give and children take.

I don't have a single memory of my mom not being there when I needed her.

She had so much going on, but somehow was always there. 

Who was the first person I saw after waking up from surgery? My mom.

Who was laying awake with me when I was sick in the middle of the night? My mom.

Who was the first person to congratulate me when I made the cheer team? My mom.

Who was the first person I looked to after scoring my first goal? My mom.

Who ran to the store with me the night before a project I forgot about was due? My mom.

And who was the person that helped me through my first week of being a mother myself? My selfless, loving mother.

Mom, thank you for always being there and for never missing a moment.

Since becoming a mother, I think I finally have a glimpse of just how much you love me, Taylor, and Andrew. 

We are so blessed to have you to call mom.

I appreciate and love you more than I can even begin to explain.

I hope one day, I can become half the mother you were to me.

Happy Mother's Day mom, I really love you!

All my love,

Aleigh Joy

ps. here's a little Mother's Day video I put together for my mom a few years back!

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